Quote of the day
Quote of the day
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Quote of the day
| ...adults are just obsolete children, and the hell with them. | Theodor Seuss Geisel |
| ...I hope that we will hear no more of all ways of life and all cultures being equally valid, which none of us truly believes but which many people mouth in order to appear broad-minded and generous of spirit. | Armand Nicholi Jr. |
| .I had to face the horrible truth: The antitobacco people are lying. Smoking really is cool. And I'm less cool for not doing it. | Tucker Carlson |
| ?Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. | Dale Carnegie |
| A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother. | Mark Twain |
| A baby is God's opinion that life should go on. | Carl Sandburg |
| A bad beginning makes a bad ending. | Euripides |
| A bad peace is even worse than war. | Tacitus |
| A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. | Robert Frost |
| A bare assertion is not necessarily the naked truth. | George Dennison Prentice |
| A book of quotations...can never be complete. | Robert M. Hamilton |
| A bore is a fellow who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it. | Henry Ford |
| A brain has to digest its food, too. | Jason Mechalek |
| A business that makes nothing but money is a poor kind of business. | Henry Ford |
| A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe. | Pierre Berton |
| A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. | Fred Allen |
| A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to. | Laurence Peter |
| A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. | Bill Vaughan |
| A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. | Mark Twain |
| A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment. | John Wooden |
| A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. | Fred Allen |
| A country cannot subsist well without liberty, nor liberty without virtue. | Daniel Webster |
| A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave. | Mahatma Gandhi |
| A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. | Oscar Wilde |
| A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. | Henry Mencken |
| A day without laughter is a day wasted. | Charlie Chaplin |
| A decent provision for the poor is the true test of civilization. | Samuel Johnson |
| A democratic government is the only one in which those who vote for a tax can escape the obligation to pay it. | Alexis de Tocqueville |
| A desire to resist oppression is implanted in the nature of man. | Tacitus |
| A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. | Robert Frost |
| A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. | Frank Lloyd Wright |
| A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. | Ogden Nash |
| A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned. | George Bernard Shaw |
| A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. | Oscar Wilde |
| A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought. | Peter Wimsey |
| A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to cash in on the experience. | Elbert Hubbard |
| A faith is a necessity to a man. Woe to him who believes in nothing. | Victor Hugo |
| A few hours of mountain climbing turn a villain and a saint into two rather equal creature. Exhaustion is the shortest way to equality and fraternity, and liberty is added eventually by sleep. | Friedrich Nietzsche |
| A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what's behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later. | Stanley Kubrick |
| A film is never really any good unless the camera is an eye in the head of a poet. | Orson Welles |
| A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular. | Adlai Stevenson |
| A friend is able to see you as the wonderful person God created you to be. | Ann D. Parrish |
| A friend is one before whom you may think aloud. | Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| A friend is someone, who upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer. | Amanda Grier |
| A friend is the hope of the heart. | Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illusion. | Henry Mencken |
| A 'geek' by definition is someone who eats live animals....I've never eaten live animals. | Crispin Glover |
| A goal is a dream with a deadline. | Napoleon Hill |
| A good book is the best of friends, the same to-day and for ever. | Martin Farquhar Tupper |
| A good conscience is a continual Christmas. | Benjamin Franklin |
| A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor. | Ring Lardner |
| A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author. | GK Chesterton |
| A good photograph is knowing where to stand. | Ansel Adams |
| A government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we'll ever see on this earth. | Ronald Reagan |
| A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. | George Bernard Shaw |
| A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. | Erna Bombeck |
| A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student. | Ambrose Bierce |
| A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep. | Saul Bellow |
| A great many of those who 'debunk' traditional...values have in the background values of their own which they believe to be immune from the debunking process. | C.S. Lewis |
| A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. | William James |
| A great part of courage is the courage of having done the thing before. | Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| A great photograph is one that fully expresses what one feels, in the deepest sense, about what is being photographed. | Ansel Adams |
| A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he'd claim it was 'just a sprain'. | Dave Barry |
| A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. | P.J. O'Rourke |
| A hero is no braver than an ordinary person, but he is braver five minutes longer. | Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| A hot dog at the ball park is better than steak at the Ritz. | Humphrey Bogart |
| A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. | Socrates |
| A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. | Confucius |
| A joyful heart is like the sunshine of God's love, the hope of eternal happiness. | Mother Teresa |
| A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. | Henry Mencken |
| A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. | Robert Frost |
| A kiss may ruin a human life. | Oscar Wilde |
| A leader is a dealer in hope. | Napoleon Bonaparte |
| A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel. | Robert Frost |
| A lie cannot live. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. | Winston Churchill |
| A life without adventure is likely to be unsatisfying, but a life in which adventure is allowed to take whatever form it will is sure to be short. | Bertrand Russell |
| A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. | P.J. O'Rourke |
| A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. | H.H. Munro |
| A little neglect may breed great mischief. | Benjamin Franklin |
| A little simplification would be the first step toward rational living, I think. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right. | Thomas Paine |
| A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want. | Madonna Ciccone |
| A lot of places can be the wrong place at the wrong time. | Bill Clinton |
| A loving heart is the truest wisdom. | Charles Dickens |
| A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him. | Mae West |
| A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. | C.S. Lewis |
| A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. | Oscar Wilde |
| A man does what he must, in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures, and that is the basis of all human morality. | John F. Kennedy |
| A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it. | Jack Handey |
| A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know. | Laurence Peter |
| A man doesnt want a child he is a dead beat dad. A woman doesnt want a child she is pro choice. | Author Unknown |
| A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction. | Mae West |
| A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. | Zsa Zsa Gabor |
| A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. | Mahatma Gandhi |
| A man is measured by the size of things that anger him. | Geof Greenleaf |
| A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar. | Mark Twain |
| A man may be loyal to his government and yet oppose the particular principles and methods of administration. | Abraham Lincoln |
| A man may imagine things that are false, but he can only understand things that are true, for if the things be false, the apprehension of them is not understanding. | Isaac Newton |
| A man must be willing to die for justice. Death is an inescapable reality and men die daily, but good deeds live forever. | Jesse Jackson |
| A man never tells you anything until you contradict him. | George Bernard Shaw |
| A man of genius has been seldom ruined but by himself. | Samuel Johnson |
| A man only curses because he doesn't know the words to express what is on his mind. | Malcolm X |
| A man should believe in God through faith, not because of miracles. | Nachman of Bratslav |
| A man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing. | Oscar Wilde |
| A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education he may steal the whole railroad. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life. | Christopher Morley |
| A man who is eating or lying with his wife or preparing to go to sleep in humility, thankfulness and temperance, is, by Christian standards, in an infinitely higher state than one who is listening to Bach or reading Plato in a state of pride. | C.S. Lewis |
| A man who never made a mistake never made anything. | David Gemmell |
| A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights. | Napoleon Bonaparte |
| A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle. | Benjamin Franklin |
| A man, Sir, should keep his friendship in constant repair. | Samuel Johnson |
| A man's drive for profit should be prompted by the desire to give charity. | Nachman of Bratslav |
| A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death. | Albert Einstein |
| A man's kiss is his signature. | Mae West |
| A man's very highest moment is, I have no doubt at all, when he kneels in the dust, and beats his breast, and tells all the sins of his life. | Oscar Wilde |
| A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. | Charles Robert |
| A mind of the calibre of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows. | George Bernard Shaw |
| A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. | Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience. | Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes. | James Feibleman |
| A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| A nation which can prefer disgrace to danger is prepared for a master, and deserves one! | Alexander Hamilton |
| A national debt, if it is not excessive, will be to us a national blessing. | Alexander Hamilton |
| A nickel isn't worth a dime today. | Yogi Berra |
| A novel is balanced between a few true impressions and the multitude of false ones that make up most of what we call life. | Saul Bellow |
| A painter is a man who paints what he sells. An artist, however, is a man that sells what he paints. | Pablo Picasso |
| A penny saved is a penny earned. | Benjamin Franklin |
| A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it. | Alexandre Dumas |
| A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. | Mark Twain |
| A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street. | Laurence Peter |
| A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. | Winston Churchill |
| A photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into. | Ansel Adams |
| A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood. | George Patton |
| A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. | Robert Frost |
| A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom. | Robert Frost |
| A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child. | Henry Mencken |
| A poet needs a pen, a painter a brush, and a filmmaker an army. | Orson Welles |
| A poet never takes notes. You never take notes in a love affair. | Robert Frost |
| A politician is a statesman who approaches every question with an open mouth. | Adlai Stevenson |
| A poor but humble man who gives nothing to charity is preferrable to a rich but haughty man who does. | Nachman of Bratslav |
| A powerful idea communicates some of its strength to him who challenges it. | Marcel Proust |
| A President cannot always be popular. | Harry Truman |
| A President either is constantly on top of events or, if he hesitates, events will soon be on top of him. I never felt that I could let up for a single moment. | Harry Truman |
| A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you're looking down, you can't see something that's above you. | C.S. Lewis |
| A prudent question is one-half of wisdom. | Francis Bacon |
| A radical is a man with both feet firmly planted in the air. | Franklin D. Roosevelt |
| A reasonable man adapts himself to his environment. An unreasonable man persists in attempting to adapt his environment to suit himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. | George Bernard Shaw |
| A revolution is a struggle to the death between the future and the past. | Fidel Castro |
| A right delayed is a right denied. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| A riot is the language of the unheard. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| A scientific man ought to have no wishes, no affections, -- a mere heart of stone. | Charles Darwin |
| A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. | Samuel Johnson |
| A shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. | Carl Jung |
| A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic. | Joseph Stalin |
| A single lie destroys a whole reputation of integrity. | Baltasar Gracian |
| A sound mind in a sound body is a short but full description of a happy state in this world. | John Locke |
| A star on a movie set is like a time bomb. That bomb has got to be defused so people can approach it without fear. | Jack Nicholson |
| A stream cannot rise larger than its source. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| A strict master will not have understanding sons. | Nachman of Bratslav |
| A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand. | Bertrand Russell |
| A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of Creation. | Friedrich Nietzsche |
| A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day. | Andr? Maurois |
| A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. | Germaine Greer |
| A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. | Confucius |
| A thing moderately good is not so good as it ought to be. Moderation in temper is always a virtue, but moderation in principle is always a vice. | Thomas Paine |
| A true artist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother drudge for his living at seventy, sooner than work at anything but his art. | George Bernard Shaw |
| A true photograph need not be explained, nor can it be contained in words. | Ansel Adams |
| A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more in old age, as a fine building should be seen by morning light, at noon and by moonlight. | Robertson Davies |
| A typical vice of American politics is the avoidance of saying anything real on real issues. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. | Samuel Goldwyn |
| A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relation. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing, too. | P.J. O'Rourke |
| A well-spent day brings happy sleep. | Leonardo da Vinci |
| A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. | Baltasar Gracian |
| A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. | Francis Bacon |
| A witty saying proves nothing. | Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire) |
| A woman has to be twice as good as a man to go half as far. | Fannie Hurst |
| A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't. | Edward A. Murphy |
| A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day. | Emily Dickinson |
| A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and time in which it is used. | Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice. | Bill Cosby |
| A word to the wise is infuriating. | Hunter S. Thompson |
| A world without nuclear weapons would be less stable and more dangerous for all of us. | Margaret Thatcher |
| A yawn is a silent shout. | GK Chesterton |
| A young man who wishes to remain a sound Atheist cannot be too careful of his reading. There are traps everywhere--'Bibles laid open, millions of surprises,' as Herbert says, 'fine nets and stratagems.' God is, if I may say it, very unscrupulous. | C.S. Lewis |
| Ability is a poor man's wealth. | John Wooden |
| Ability is nothing without opportunity. | Napoleon Bonaparte |
| Ability will never catch up with the demand for it. | Confucius |
| Abolition of a woman's right to abortion, when and if she wants it, amounts to compulsory maternity: a form of rape by the State. | Edward Abbey |
| Absence and death are the same - only that in death there is no suffering. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| Absence is to love as wind is to fire; It extinguishes the small and kindles the great. | Roger de Bussy-Rabutin |
| Absence makes the heart grow fonder. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Absolute truth is a very rare and dangerous commodity in the context of professional journalism. | Hunter S. Thompson |
| Abuse, if you slight it, will gradually die away; but if you show yourself irritated, you will be thought to have deserved it. | Tacitus |
| Accept good advice gracefully--as long as it doesn't interfere with what you intended to do in the first place. | Gene Brown |
| Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory. | George Patton |
| Act like you expect to get into the end zone. | Christopher Morley |
| Acting is the expression of a neurotic impulse ? it's a bum's life. The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis. | Marlon Brando |
| Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. | Mark Twain |
| Actors are one family over the entire world. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| Adam was the only man who, when he said a good thing, knew that nobody had said it before him. | Mark Twain |
| Admiration. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. | Ambrose Bierce |
| Admit it, sport-utility-vehicle owners! It's shaped a little differently, but it's a station wagon! And you do not drive it across rivers! You drive it across the Wal-Mart parking lot! | Dave Barry |
| Adversity is the state in which man mostly easily becomes acquainted with himself, being especially free of admirers then. | John Wooden |
| Advertising is the life of trade. | Calvin Coolidge |
| Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on. | Bill Cosby |
| Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. | Erica Jong |
| Advice to young writers who want to get ahead without annoying delays: don?t write about Man, write about 'a' man. | E.B. White |
| Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. | C.S. Lewis |
| After all, it is style alone by which posterity will judge of a great work, for an author can have nothing truly his own but his style. | Isaac Disraeli |
| After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is Music. | Aldous Huxley |
| After 'The Matrix,' I cannot wear sunglasses. As soon as I put them on, people recognise me. | Carrie-Anne Moss |
| Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself; he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him. | Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
| Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. | Mark Twain |
| Age does not always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone. | Garrison Keillor |
| Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age. | Jeanne Moreau |
| Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. | Tom Stoppard |
| Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. | Mark Twain |
| Aging is mandatory. Maturity is optional. | Chris Antonak |
| Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. | Robin Williams |
| Aim at Heaven and you will get Earth thrown in. Aim at Earth and you get neither. | C.S. Lewis |
| Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. | Al Gore |
| Alas, I am dying beyond my means. | Oscar Wilde |
| Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne, and myself founded empires; but what foundation did we rest the creations of our genius? Upon force. Jesus Christ founded an empire upon love; and at this hour millions of men would die for Him. | Napoleon Bonaparte |
| All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. | George Orwell |
| All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher. | Ambrose Bierce |
| All art is but imitation of nature. | Lucius Annaeus Seneca |
| All art is quite useless. | Oscar Wilde |
| All but the hard hearted man must be torn with pity for this pathetic dilemma of the rich man, who has to keep the poor man just stout enough to do the work and just thin enough to have to do it. | GK Chesterton |
| All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. | Pablo Picasso |
| All enterprises that are entered into with indiscreet zeal may be pursued with great vigor at first, but are sure to collapse in the end. | Tacitus |
| All generalizations are dangerous, even this one. | Alexandre Dumas |
| All glory is fleeting. | George Patton |
| All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. | Fran Lebowitz |
| All good art is about something deeper than it admits. | Roger Ebert |
| All great truths begin as blasphemies. | George Bernard Shaw |
| All growth depends upon activity. There is no development physically or intellectually without effort, and effort means work. | Calvin Coolidge |
| All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. | Aristotle |
| All I want out of life, is that when I walk down the street folks will say, 'There goes the greatest hitter that ever lived.' | Ted Williams |
| All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work. | Steve Martin |
| All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. | Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move. | Benjamin Franklin |
| All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. | Henry Mencken |
| All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others. | Henny Youngman |
| All men are timid on entering any fight. Whether it is the first or the last fight, all of us are timid. Cowards are those who let their timidity get the better of their manhood. | George Patton |
| All men desire to know. | Aristotle |
| All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers. | Orison Swett Marden |
| All our dreams can come true --if we have the courage to pursue them. | Walt Disney |
| All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. | Walt Disney |
| All our knowledge has its origin in our perceptions. | Leonardo da Vinci |
| All praise is to Allah, I'll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were here I'd fight him too. | Mike Tyson |
| All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions. | Adlai Stevenson |
| All science, even the divine science, is a sublime detective story. Only it is not set to detect why a man is dead; but the darker secret of why he is alive. | GK Chesterton |
| All splendid things are rare. | Marcus Tullius Cicero |
| All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose. | Brian Tracy |
| All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost. | J.R.R. Tolkien |
| All that is not eternal is eternally out of date. | C.S. Lewis |
| All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing. | Edmund Burke |
| All the people throughout my life who were naysayers pissed me off. But they've all given me a fervor; an angry ambition that cannot be stopped - and I look forward to finding a therapist and working on that. | Tobey Maguire |
| All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages. | William Shakespeare |
| All theoretical chemistry is really physics; and all theoretical chemists know it. | Richard P. Feynman |
| All truth, in the long run, is only common sense clarified. | Thomas Huxley |
| All virtue is summed up in dealing justly. | Aristotle |
| All war is deception. | Sun Tzu |
| Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Remember to lean back in the parade so everybody can see the president. Be sure not to get too fat, because you'll have to sit three in the back. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other thing. | Abraham Lincoln |
| Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest. | Mark Twain |
| Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. | Ernest Hemingway |
| Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. | Bill Cosby |
| Always leave something to wish for; otherwise you will be miserable from your very happiness. | Baltasar Gracian |
| Always remember, others may hate you- but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself. | Richard Nixon |
| Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? | Abraham Lincoln |
| Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus's-flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition. | Jack Handey |
| Ambition is pitiless. Any merit that it cannot use it finds despicable. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| Ambition is so powerful a passion in the human breast, that however high we reach we are never satisfied. | Nicolo Machiavelli |
| America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense...human rights invented America. | Jimmy Carter |
| America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. | Laurence Peter |
| America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation. | Laurence Peter |
| America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair. | Arnold Toynbee |
| America is a mistake, a giant mistake. | Sigmund Freud |
| America is a nation with many flaws, but hopes so vast that only the cowardly would refuse to acknowledge them. | James Michener |
| America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy. | John Updike |
| America is an enormous frosted cupcake in the middle of millions of starving people. | Gloria Steinem |
| America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great. | Alexis de Tocqueville |
| America is not like a blanket: one piece of unbroken cloth, the same color, the same texture, the same size. America is more like a quilt: many patches, many pieces, many colors, many sizes, all woven and held together by a common thread. | Jesse Jackson |
| America is the first country to have gone from barbarism to decadence without the usual intervening period of civilization. | Oscar Wilde |
| America is the most grandiose experiment the world has seen, but, I am afraid, it is not going to be a success. | Sigmund Freud |
| America is the only country ever founded on a creed. | GK Chesterton |
| America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. | Abraham Lincoln |
| America will never seek a permission slip to defend the security of our people. | George W. Bush |
| America...just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable. | Hunter S. Thompson |
| Americans are so enamored of equality, they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom. | Alexis de Tocqueville |
| Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing...after they have exhausted all other possibilities. | Winston Churchill |
| Among a people generally corrupt liberty cannot long exist. | Edmund Burke |
| Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest. | Mahatma Gandhi |
| Among the natural rights of the colonists are these: First a right to life, secondly to liberty, and thirdly to property; together with the right to defend them in the best manner they can. | Samuel Adams |
| An actor is at most a poet and at least an entertainer. | Marlon Brando |
| An actor's a guy, who if you ain't talking about him, ain't listening. | Marlon Brando |
| An angry man is unfit to pray. | Nachman of Bratslav |
| An artist is someone who produces things that people don't need to have but that he? for some reason? thinks it would be a good idea to give them. | Andy Warhol |
| An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support. | Fulton J. Sheen |
| An atheist is one who hopes the Lord will do nothing to disturb his disbelief. | Franklin Jones |
| An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. | Laurence Peter |
| An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff. | Adlai Stevenson |
| An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don't. | Malcolm Forbes |
| An election is coming. Universal peace is declared and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry. | T.S. Eliot |
| An engagement should come on a young girl as a surprise, pleasant or unpleasant, as the case may be. It is hardly a matter that she could be allowed to arrange for herself. | Oscar Wilde |
| An event has happened, upon which it is difficult to speak, and impossible to be silent. | Edmund Burke |
| An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind. | Mahatma Gandhi |
| An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea. | Siddhartha Buddha |
| An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered. | GK Chesterton |
| An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex. | Aldous Huxley |
| An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. | Benjamin Franklin |
| An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger. | Confucius |
| An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. | Irv Kupcinet |
| An orator is a man who says what he thinks and feels what he says. | William Jennings Bryan |
| An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness. | Elbert Hubbard |
| An unexamined life is not worth living. | Socrates |
| An unexciting truth may be eclipsed by a thrilling lie. | Aldous Huxley |
| An unjust peace is better than a just war. | Marcus Tullius Cicero |
| An unjust punishment is never forgotten. | Penelope Fitzgerald |
| An unlimited power to tax involves, necessarily, the power to destroy. | Daniel Webster |
| Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. | E.B. White |
| And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. | Abraham Lincoln |
| And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. | Friedrich Nietzsche |
| And what?s romance? Usually, a nice little tale where you have everything As You Like It, where rain never wets your jacket and gnats never bite your nose and it?s always daisy-time. | D.H. Lawrence |
| Andy Warhol made fame more famous. | Fran Lebowitz |
| Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. | GK Chesterton |
| Anger as soon as fed is dead. 'Tis starving makes it fat. | Emily Dickinson |
| Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. | Mark Twain |
| Anger is never without an argument, but seldom with a good one. | George Savile |
| Anger is one of the sinews of the soul; he that wants it hath a maimed mind. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten. | Siddhartha Buddha |
| Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends. | George Bernard Shaw |
| Anxiety is the hand maiden of creativity. | T.S. Eliot |
| Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction. | Albert Einstein |
| Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood. | Henry Mencken |
| Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains. | Winston Churchill |
| Any man who wants to be president is either an egomaniac or crazy. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. | John Donne |
| Any mental activity is easy if it need not take reality into account. | Marcel Proust |
| Any new system is worth trying when your luck is bad. | Heywood Broun |
| Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae. | Kurt Vonnegut |
| Any stupid ass can die. That's easy. Living is tough. | Jack LaLanne |
| Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy. | Aristotle |
| Anybody can make history; only a great man can write it. | Oscar Wilde |
| Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you. | Bill Cosby |
| Anyone can get old, all you have to do is live long enough. | Groucho Marx |
| Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. | Albert Einstein |
| Anyone who invokes authors in discussion is not using his intelligence but his memory. | Leonardo da Vinci |
| Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. | Douglas Adams |
| Anyone who is not an anarchist agrees with having a policeman at the corner of the street; but the danger at present is that of finding the policeman half-way down the chimney or even under the bed. | GK Chesterton |
| Anyone who says that they can contemplate quantum mechanics without becoming dizzy has not understood the concept in the least. | Niels Bohr |
| Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy of everyone else. | William Rotsler |
| Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. | Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire) |
| Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. | Mae West |
| Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?! | Jack Handey |
| Arbitrary power is most easily established on the ruins of liberty abused to licentiousness. | George Washington |
| Arbitration is justice blended with charity. | Nachman of Bratslav |
| Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours. | Dale Carnegie |
| Are you entitled to the fruits of your labor or does government have some presumptive right to spend and spend and spend? | Ronald Reagan |
| Arguing is really saying, ''If you were really more like me, then I could like you better.'' | Wayne Dyer |
| Arise and take our stand for freedom as in the olden time. | Winston Churchill |
| Art calls for complete mastery of techniques, developed by reflection within the soul. | Bruce Lee |
| Art can teach without at all ceasing to be art. | C.S. Lewis |
| Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame. | GK Chesterton |
| Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does, the better. | Andr? Gide |
| Art is a kind of innate drive that seizes a human being and makes him its instrument. The artist is not a person endowed with free will who seeks his own ends, but one who allows art to realize its purpose through him. | Carl Jung |
| Art is man's expression of his joy in labor. | Henry Kissinger |
| Art is the lie that tells the truth. | Pablo Picasso |
| Art is the most passionate orgy within man's grasp. | John Donne |
| Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere. | GK Chesterton |
| As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. | Dave Barry |
| As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything. | George Carlin |
| As a rule, men worry more about what they can't see than about what they can. | Julius Caesar |
| As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death. | Leonardo da Vinci |
| As a woman, I find it very embarrassing to be in a meeting and realize I'm the only one in the room with balls. | Rita Mae Brown |
| As every divided kingdom falls, so every mind divided between many studies confounds and saps itself. | Leonardo da Vinci |
| As far as I am concerned now, I have no enemies in the press whatsoever. | Richard Nixon |
| As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being. | Carl Jung |
| As for a future life, every man must judge for himself between conflicting vague probabilities. | Charles Darwin |
| As government expands, liberty contracts. | Ronald Reagan |
| As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do. | Andrew Carnegie |
| As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy. Whatever differs from this, to the extent of the difference, is no democracy. | Abraham Lincoln |
| As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. | Henry Thoreau |
| As long as the world shall last there will be wrongs, and if no man objected and no man rebelled, those wrongs would last forever. | Clarence Darrow |
| As long as war is regarded as wicked it will always have its fascinations. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular. | Oscar Wilde |
| As President, I have no eyes but constitutional eyes; I cannot see you. | Abraham Lincoln |
| As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. | Josh Billings |
| As soon as beauty is sought not from religion and love, but for pleasure, it degrades the seeker. | Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| As soon as one is unhappy one becomes moral. | Marcel Proust |
| As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. | Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
| As the circle of light increases, so does the circumference of darkness around it. | Albert Einstein |
| As things are, and as fundamentally they must always be, poetry is not a career, but a mug's game. No honest poet can ever feel quite sure of the permanent value of what he has written: He may have wasted his time and messed up his life for nothing. | T.S. Eliot |
| As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will; he will be sure to repent it. | Socrates |
| As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others. | Bill Gates |
| As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country. | John F. Kennedy |
| Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. | Fran Lebowitz |
| Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company. | George Washington |
| Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards and leads us from this world to another. | Plato |
| At 50, everyone has the face he deserves. | George Orwell |
| At least five times...with the Arian and the Albigensian, with the Humanist sceptic, after Voltaire and after Darwin, the Faith has to all appearance gone to the dogs. In each of these five cases it was the dog that died. | GK Chesterton |
| At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid. | Friedrich Nietzsche |
| Atheism is rather in the life than in the heart of man. | Francis Bacon |
| Atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning... | C.S. Lewis |
| Avoid the base hypocrisy of condemning in one man what you pass over in silence when committed by another. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| Back in the old days, most families were close-knit. Grown children and their parents continued to live together, under the same roof, sometimes in the same small, crowded room, year in and year out, until they died, frequently by strangulation. | Dave Barry |
| Bad artists copy. Great artists steal. | Pablo Picasso |
| Bad laws are the worst sort of tyranny. | Edmund Burke |
| Bad men are full of repentance. | Aristotle |
| Bad men cannot make good citizens. A vitiated state of morals, a corrupted public conscience are incompatible with freedom. | Patrick Henry |
| Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live. | Socrates |
| Bad news isn't wine. It doesn't improve with age. | Colin Powell |
| Badness is only spoiled goodness. | C.S. Lewis |
| Baseball and malaria keep coming back. | Gene Mauch |
| Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended. | George Bernard Shaw |
| Baseball is the belly-button of our society. | Bill Lee |
| Bashfulness is an ornament to youth, but a reproach to old age. | Aristotle |
| Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. | Woody Allen |
| Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble. | Frank Tyger |
| Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. | Mark Twain |
| Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation. | George Washington |
| Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. | Plato |
| Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. | Josh Billings |
| Be like the promontory against which the waves continually break, but it stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it. | Marcus Aurelius |
| Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. | John Wooden |
| Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em. | William Shakespeare |
| Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him; and one day they will no longer be a mystery to you. | C.S. Lewis |
| Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. | Will Rogers |
| Be true to your work, your word, and your friend. | Henry David Thoreau |
| Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. | Theodor Seuss Geisel |
| Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| Beauty and folly are old companions. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Beauty is a short-lived tyranny. | Socrates |
| Beauty is a sign of intelligence. | Andy Warhol |
| Beauty is all very well at first sight; but whoever looks at it when it has been in the house three days? | George Bernard Shaw |
| Beauty is ever to the lonely mind a shadow fleeting; she is never plain. She is a visitor who leaves behind the gift of grief, the souvenir of pain. | Christopher Morley |
| Beauty is indeed a good gift of God; but that the good may not think it a great good, God dispenses it even to the wicked. | Saint Augustine |
| Beauty is not caused. It is. | Emily Dickinson |
| Beauty is truth, truth beauty. That is all ye know on Earth, and all ye need to know. | John Keats |
| Because of the level of my chess game, I was able - even against a weak opponent, such as my younger brothers or the dog - to get myself checkmated in under three minutes. I challenge any computer to do it faster. | Dave Barry |
| Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Before everything else, getting ready is the secret of success. | Henry Ford |
| Before God we are equally wise and equally foolish. | Albert Einstein |
| Before reciting his prayers, a man should give to charity. | Nachman of Bratslav |
| Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. | Groucho Marx |
| Being a leader is like being a lady, if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't. | Margaret Thatcher |
| Being a philosopher, I have a problem for every solution. | Robert Zend |
| Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery. | Andy Warhol |
| Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. | Margaret Thatcher |
| Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but stand there and take it. | Lyndon B. Johnson |
| Being religious means asking passionately the question of the meaning of our existence and being willing to receive answers, even if the answers hurt. | Paul Tillich |
| Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off. | Colin Powell |
| Being with a woman never hurt no professional ball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. | Casey Stengel |
| Belief is no substitute for arithmetic. | Henry Spencer |
| Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song. | Konrad von Gesner |
| Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. | Confucius |
| Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world. | George Bernard Shaw |
| Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. | Siddhartha Buddha |
| Better to die on your feet than live on your knees. | Author Unknown |
| Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. | Saint Augustine |
| Better to live one year as a tiger, then a hundred as sheep. | Madonna Ciccone |
| Between two groups of people who want to make inconsistent kinds of worlds, I see no remedy but force. | Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| Beware how you take away hope from another human being. | Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes. | Henry Thoreau |
| Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance. | George Bernard Shaw |
| Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way. | Kurt Vonnegut |
| Beware the writer who always encloses the word reality in quotation marks: He's trying to slip something over on you. Or into you. | Edward Abbey |
| Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes. | Dave Barry |
| Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. | Christopher Morley |
| Black holes are where God divided by zero. | Steven Wright |
| Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders. | Friedrich Nietzsche |
| Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. | George Eliot |
| Blood is the ink of our life's story. | Jason Mechalek |
| Bodily exercise, when compulsory, does no harm to the body; but knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind. | Plato |
| Boldness be my friend. | William Shakespeare |
| Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren't very new at all. | Abraham Lincoln |
| Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it. | Bertrand Russell |
| Both oligarch and tyrant mistrust the people, and therefore deprive them of their arms. | Aristotle |
| Both tears and sweat are salty, but they render a different result. Tears will get you sympathy; sweat will get you change. | Jesse Jackson |
| Boxing is just show business with blood. | Frank Bruno |
| Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything! | Steve Martin |
| Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death. | Omar Bradley |
| Brevity is the soul of lingerie. | Dorothy Parker |
| Bring your desires down to your present means. Increase them only when your increased means permit. | Aristotle |
| Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60. They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall. | Frank Lloyd Wright |
| Business today consists in persuading crowds. | T.S. Eliot |
| But such is the irresistible nature of truth, that all it asks, and all it wants is the liberty of appearing. | Thomas Paine |
| But what is the difference between literature and journalism? Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all. | Oscar Wilde |
| But what minutes! Count them by sensation, and not by calendars, and each moment is a day. | Benjamin Disraeli |
| Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth. | Dave Barry |
| By a curious confusion, many modern critics have passed from the proposition that a masterpiece may be unpopular to the other proposition that unless it is unpopular it cannot be a masterpiece. | GK Chesterton |
| By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. | Benjamin Franklin |
| By our efforts, we have lit a fire as well--a fire in the minds of men. It warms those who feel its power, it burns those who fight its progress, and one day this untamed fire of freedom will reach the darkest corners of our world. | George W. Bush |
| By the time we've made it, we've had it. | Malcolm Forbes |
| By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. | Confucius |
| California is like an artificial limb the rest of the country doesn't really need. You can quote me on that. | Saul Bellow |
| Call on God, but row away from the rocks. | Hunter S. Thompson |
| Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. | Dave Barry |
| Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable. | C.S. Lewis |
| Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. | Nicole Hollander |
| Can't live with 'em. Can't legally torture them to death. | Author Unknown |
| Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer, but imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master. | Jesse Jackson |
| Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything. | Harry Truman |
| Cast off the shackles of this modern oppression and take back what is rightfully yours, because as William Shakespeare never wrote, 'Life is but a bullring, and we are but matadors trying to dodge all the horns.' | Matthew Clayfield |
| Cast your cares on God; that anchor holds. | Frank Moore Colby |
| Certain things, if not seen as lovely or detestable, are not being correctly seen at all. | C.S. Lewis |
| Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees. | Victor Hugo |
| Chance favors the prepared mind. | Louis Pasteur |
| Chance fights ever on the side of the prudent. | Euripides |
| Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal. | Arthur Schopenhauer |
| Change before you have to. | Jack Welch |
| Change is inevitable. Change is constant. | Benjamin Disraeli |
| Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. | Steve Martin |
| Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries. | James Michener |
| Character is much easier kept than recovered. | Thomas Paine |
| Character is that which reveals moral purpose, exposing the class of things a man chooses and avoids. | Aristotle |
| Character, not circumstances, makes the man. | Booker T. Washington |
| Chastity...the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions. | Aldous Huxley |
| Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. | Christopher Morley |
| Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul; the blue prints of your ultimate achievements. | Woodrow Wilson |
| Chicago sounds rough to the maker of verse. One comfort we have: Cincinnati sounds worse. | Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| Childbirth, as a strictly physical phenomenon, is comparable to driving a United Parcel truck through an inner tube. | Dave Barry |
| Children always understand. They have open minds. They have built-in shit detectors. | Madonna Ciccone |
| Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk. | Carl Jung |
| Children are innocent and love justice, while most adults are wicked and prefer mercy. | GK Chesterton |
| Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling. | Jack Handey |
| Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. | Author Unknown |
| Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. | Socrates |
| Children today know more about sex than I or my father did. | Bill Cosby |
| Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important. | C.S. Lewis |
| Christmas can be celebrated in the school room with pine trees, tinsel and reindeers, but there must be no mention of the man whose birthday is being celebrated. One wonders how a teacher would answer if a student asked why it was called Christmas. | Ronald Reagan |
| Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. | Phyllis Diller |
| Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. | Richard Lamm |
| Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you're home. | Carol Nelson |
| Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. | Calvin Coolidge |
| Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the revolving year. And yet, for all that, when it speaks, its voice has strong authority. | W.J. Cameron |
| Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Santa Claus. | Bart Simpson |
| Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. | Norman Vincent Peale |
| Civil war? What does that mean? Is there any foreign war? Isn't every war fought between men, between brothers? | Victor Hugo |
| Civilization is the encouragement of differences. Civilization thus becomes a synonym of democracy. Force, violence, pressure, or compulsion with a view to conformity, is both uncivilized and undemocratic. | Mahatma Gandhi |
| Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction. | Author Unknown |
| Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves. | Blaise Pascal |
| Classical music gradually lost popularity because it is too complicated: you need twenty-five or thirty skilled musicians just to hum it properly. So people began to develop regular music. | Dave Barry |
| Clever people seem not to feel the natural pleasure of bewilderment, and are always answering questions when the chief relish of a life is to go on asking them. | Frank Moore Colby |
| Cliches are made because they're true. | Miriam M. Wynn |
| Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. | Mark Twain |
| Cocaine is God's way of telling someone that they're too rich. | Robin Williams |
| Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery. | Calvin Coolidge |
| Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke. | Steve Martin |
| Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. | Henry Ford |
| Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them. | Abraham Lincoln |
| Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. | Albert Einstein |
| Common-sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom. | Samuel Taylor Coleridge |
| Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to clearing the way for informal discussions that might lead to possible formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tentative agreements... | Dave Barry |
| Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking. | Henry Mencken |
| Consciousness is either inexplicable illusion, or else revelation. | C.S. Lewis |
| Consider any individual at any period of his life, and you will always find him preoccupied with fresh plans to increase his comfort. | Alexis de Tocqueville |
| Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others. | Jacob Braude |
| Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating. | Charlie Kaufman |
| Consumption is the sole end and purpose of all production; and the interest of the producer ought to be attended to, only so far as it may be necessary for promoting that of the consumer. | Adam Smith |
| Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty. | Socrates |
| Corrupt politicians make the other ten percent look bad. | Henry Kissinger |
| Courage consists in the power of self-recovery. | Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway. | John Wayne |
| Courage is fear holding on a minute longer. | George Patton |
| Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke. | Benjamin Disraeli |
| Courage is grace under pressure. | Ernest Hemingway |
| Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment. | Napoleon Bonaparte |
| Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. | C.S. Lewis |
| Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. | Mark Twain |
| Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees all others. | Winston Churchill |
| Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees the others. | Aristotle |
| Courage is the most beautiful kind of madness. | Author Unknown |
| Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. | Winston Churchill |
| Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| Cowards die many times before their deaths. The valiant never taste of death but once. | William Shakespeare |
| Create each day anew. | Morihei Ueshiba |
| Creative force, like a musical composer, goes on unweariedly repeating a simple air or theme, now high, now low, in solo, in chorus, ten thousand times reverberated, till it fills earth and heaven with the chant. | Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. | Scott Adams |
| Creditors have better memories than debtors. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Criticism is nothing more than other people's opinion. | Clint Eastwood |
| Criticism is prejudice made plausible. | Henry Mencken |
| Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. | C.S. Lewis |
| Curiousity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. | Steven Wright |
| Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. | Jack Handey |
| Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth. | Mark Twain |
| Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. | George Bernard Shaw |
| Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward; they may be beaten but they may start a winning game. | Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
| Death and life have their determined appointments; riches and honors depend upon heaven. | Confucius |
| Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. | Ambrose Bierce |
| Death is not the worst than can happen to men. | Plato |
| Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily. | Napoleon Bonaparte |
| Death is psychologically as important as birth. Shrinking away from it is something unhealthy and abnormal which robs the second half of life of its purpose. | Carl Jung |
| Death tugs at my ear and says: ''Live, I am coming.'' | Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| Decadence is a difficult word to use since it has become little more than a term of abuse applied by critics to anything they do not yet understand or which seems to differ from their moral concepts. | Ernest Hemingway |
| Decisions are made by those who show up. | Aaron Sorkin |
| Deep versed in books and shallow in himself. | Henry Kissinger |
| Deliberate with caution, but act with decision; and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness. | Charles Caleb Colton |
| Democracy and socialism have nothing in common but one word, equality. But notice the difference: while democracy seeks equality in liberty, socialism seeks equality in restraint and servitude. | Alexis de Tocqueville |
| Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. | George Bernard Shaw |
| Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. | George Bernard Shaw |
| Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. | Laurence Peter |
| Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time. | E.B. White |
| Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard. | Henry Mencken |
| Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Democracy is when the indigent, and not the men of property, are the rulers. | Aristotle |
| Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people. | Oscar Wilde |
| Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. | Johnny Carson |
| Democratic nations must try to find ways to starve the terrorist and the hijacker of the oxygen of publicity on which they depend. | Margaret Thatcher |
| Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future. | Adolf Hitler |
| Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. | Mark Twain |
| Despair is the conclusion of fools. | Benjamin Disraeli |
| Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. | William Jennings Bryan |
| Did you ever notice how difficult it is to argue with someone who is not obsessed with being right? | Wayne Dyer |
| Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them. | Aristotle |
| Diligence is the mother of good luck. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Diplomacy...the art of restraining power. | Henry Kissinger |
| Disobedience, in the eyes of anyone who has read history, is man?s original virtue. It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion. | Oscar Wilde |
| Divide and rule, a sound motto. Unite and lead, a better one. | Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
| Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame. | Alexander Pope |
| Do not compute the totality of your poultry population until all the manifestations of incubation have been entirely completed. | William Jennings Bryan |
| Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. | Siddhartha Buddha |
| Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric. | Bertrand Russell |
| Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. | John Wooden |
| Do not needlessly endanger your lives until I give you the signal. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves. | Dale Carnegie |
| Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. | Mark Twain |
| Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. | Mark Twain |
| Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear. | Dale Carnegie |
| Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| Do, or do not. There is no 'try.' | Jedi Master Yoda |
| Dogs look up to you. Cats look down on you. Pigs treat you like equals. | Winston Churchill |
| Doing what little one can to increase the general stock of knowledge is as respectable an object of life, as one can in any likelihood pursue. | Charles Darwin |
| Don't ask God to change the laws of nature for you. | Nachman of Bratslav |
| Don't be ''consistent'' but be simply true. | Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, And don't put up with people that are reckless with yours. | Kurt Vonnegut |
| Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. | Erna Bombeck |
| Don't confuse having a career with having a life. | Hillary Clinton |
| Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. | Theodor Seuss Geisel |
| Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up. | Robert Frost |
| Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. | Mark Twain |
| Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them. | Steve Martin |
| Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft! | Theodore Roosevelt |
| Don't join the book burners. Do not think you are going to conceal thoughts by concealing evidence that they ever existed. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| Don't knock masturbation; it's sex with someone I love. | Woody Allen |
| Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. | Kin Hubbard |
| Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance. | Author Unknown |
| Don't look back; they may be gaining on you. | Satchel Paige |
| Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for. | Mae West |
| Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability. | John Wooden |
| Don't overestimate the decency of the human race. | H. L. Mencken |
| Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines. | Satchel Paige |
| Don't say it was 'delightful'; make us say 'delightful' when we've read the description. You see, all those words (horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers 'Please, will you do the job for me?' | C.S. Lewis |
| Don't take life too seriously; you'll never get out of it alive. | Elbert Hubbard |
| Don't take the wrong side of an argument just because your opponent has taken the right side. | Baltasar Gracian |
| Don't think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drives into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark. | Samuel Johnson |
| Don't try to be a perfectionist. That's God's job. | Jason Mechalek |
| Don't try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night. | Phillip K. Dick |
| Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say 'infinitely' when you mean 'very'; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite. | C.S. Lewis |
| Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend. | Albert Camus |
| Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. | Charles Schulz |
| Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true! | Dave Barry |
| Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time; for that's the stuff life is made of. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble. | William Shakespeare |
| Drama is life with the dull bits cut out. | Alfred Hitchcock |
| Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. | James Dean |
| Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. | Robert Benchley |
| Drive thy business or it will drive thee. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Driven from every other corner of the earth, freedom of thought and the right of private judgment in matters of conscience direct their course to this happy country as their last resort. | Samuel Adams |
| Dualism is a truncated metaphysic. | C.S. Lewis |
| Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself. | Mark Twain |
| Duty cannot exist without faith. | Benjamin Disraeli |
| Duty is what one expects from others. | Oscar Wilde |
| Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it. | W. Somerset Maugham |
| Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details. | Andy Warhol |
| Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed. | Mahatma Gandhi |
| Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Education doesn't change life much. It just lifts trouble to a higher plane of regard. | Robert Frost |
| Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. | Laurence Peter |
| Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. | Will Durant |
| Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. | Oscar Wilde |
| Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. | Robert Frost |
| Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil. | C.S. Lewis |
| Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one. | Malcolm Forbes |
| Eighty percent of success is showing up. | Woody Allen |
| Either war is obsolete or men are. | Buckminster Fuller |
| Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Elderly men who are popular with young women usually lack wisdom. | Nachman of Bratslav |
| Eloquence may set fire to reason. | Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to get leisure. | Benjamin Franklin |
| English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. | Homer Simpson |
| Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must. | Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
| Enjoy your job, make lots of money, work within the law. Choose any two. | Author Unknown |
| Enthusiasm is the great hill-climber. | Elbert Hubbard |
| Envy is as evil a thing as arrogance. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part. | Morgan Freeman |
| Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities. | C.S. Lewis |
| Error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it. | Thomas Jefferson |
| Errors are inevitable. The mark of character is not refusing to recognize them, but acknowledging them and taking responsibility. | Andrew Sullivan |
| Errors of haste are seldom committed singly. The first time a man always does too much. And precisely on that account he commits a second error, and then he does too little. | Friedrich Nietzsche |
| Eternity's a terrible thought. I mean, where's it all going to end? | Tom Stoppard |
| Ethical religion can be real only to those who are engaged in ceaseless efforts at moral improvement. By moving upward we acquire faith in an upward movement, without limit. | Felix Adler |
| Etiquette requires us to admire the human race. | Mark Twain |
| Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. | Carl Jung |
| Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| Even if there is only one possible unified theory, it is just a set of rules and equations. What is it that breathes fire into the equations and makes a universe for them to describe? | Stephen Hawking |
| Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. | Will Rogers |
| Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to? | Clarence Darrow |
| Even peace may be purchased at too high a price. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Even the poor should give something to charity. | Nachman of Bratslav |
| Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he punched me, then he kicked me, then he punched me again. | Jack Handey |
| Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. | Kahlil Gibran |
| Ever notice that 'what the hell' is always the right decision? | Marilyn Monroe |
| Every act and event is the inevitable result of prior acts and events and is independent of human will. | Karl Marx |
| Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction. | Pablo Picasso |
| Every author should weigh his work and ask, 'Will humanity gain any benefit from it?' | Nachman of Bratslav |
| Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. | Pablo Picasso |
| Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning. | Albert Einstein |
| Every difference of opinion is not a difference of principle. We have called by different names brethren of the same principle. | Thomas Jefferson |
| Every exit is an entry somewhere. | Tom Stoppard |
| Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. | Henry Thoreau |
| Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. | Laurence Peter |
| Every government is a scoundrel. | Henry Mencken |
| Every great advance in science has issued from a new audacity of the imagination. | John Dewey |
| Every great decision creates ripples - like a huge boulder dropped in a lake. The ripples merge, rebound off the banks in unforseeable ways. The heavier the decision, the larger the waves, the more uncertain the consequences. | Benjamin Disraeli |
| Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible. | Frank Moore Colby |
| Every man is like the company he is wont to keep. | Euripides |
| Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| Every man over forty is a scoundrel. | George Bernard Shaw |
| Every poem can be considered in two ways--as what the poet has to say, and as a thing which he makes. | C.S. Lewis |
| Every positive value has its price in negative terms. The genius of Einstein leads to Hiroshima. | Pablo Picasso |
| Every reader finds himself. The writer's work is merely a kind of optical instrument that makes it possible for the reader to discern what, without this book, he would perhaps never have seen in himself. | Marcel Proust |
| Every step we take towards making the State our Caretaker of our lives, by that much we move toward making the State our Master. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| Every time you meet a situation, though you think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it, you find that forever after you are freer than you were before. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| Every woman knows all about everything. | Rudyard Kipling |
| Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants. | Dorothy Parker |
| Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. | Saul Bellow |
| Everyone feels benevolent if nothing happens to be annoying him at the moment. | C.S. Lewis |
| Everyone has talent; what is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads. | Erica Jong |
| Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. | Mark Twain |
| Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions -- everyone but a school bus driver. | Laurence Peter |
| Everyone who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching. | Oscar Wilde |
| Everyone's a pacifist between wars. It's like being a vegetarian between meals. | Colman McCarthy |
| Everything comes too late for those who only wait. | Elbert Hubbard |
| Everything done in weakness fails. Moral: Do nothing. | Friedrich Nietzsche |
| Everything except God has some natural superior; everything except unformed matter has some natural inferior. | C.S. Lewis |
| Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. | Confucius |
| Everything has been thought of before, but the difficulty is to think of it again. | Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
| Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity. | Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
| Everything is simpler than you think and at the same time more complex than you imagine. | Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
| Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. | Carl Jung |
| Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. | Bill Maher |
| Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| Everything you can imagine is real. | Pablo Picasso |
| Everything you want also wants you. | Jack Canfield |
| Exaggeration follows desperation. | Chris Bowyer |
| Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer. | Charles Caleb Colton |
| Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. | Edmund Burke |
| Expect people to be better than they are; it helps them to become better. But don't be disappointed when they are not; it helps them to keep trying. | Merry Browne |
| Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him. | Aldous Huxley |
| Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. | Oscar Wilde |
| Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. | Franklin Jones |
| Experience is the teacher of all things. | Julius Caesar |
| Experience proves this, or that, or nothing, according to the preconceptions we bring to it. | C.S. Lewis |
| Experience teaches only the teachable. | Aldous Huxley |
| Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn. My God do you learn. | C.S. Lewis |
| Experts often possess more data than judgment. | Colin Powell |
| Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. | Carl Sagan |
| Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. | Mark Twain |
| Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. | Aldous Huxley |
| Failure is more frequently from want of energy than want of capital. | Daniel Webster |
| Failure is success if we learn from it. | Malcolm Forbes |
| Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. | Truman Capote |
| Failure is the only opportunity to begin again more intelligently. | Henry Ford |
| Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement. | C.S. Lewis |
| Faith is not only in the heart; it should be put into words. | Nachman of Bratslav |
| Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods. | C.S. Lewis |
| Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe. | Saint Augustine |
| Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. | Henry Mencken |
| Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens. | J.R.R. Tolkien |
| Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions. | GK Chesterton |
| False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil. | Plato |
| Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. | Emily Dickinson |
| Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. | Mark Twain |
| Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly. | Simeon Strunsky |
| Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim. | George Santayana |
| Fantasy is a necessary ingrediant in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope and that enables you to laugh at life's realities. | Theodor Seuss Geisel |
| Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. | Oscar Wilde |
| Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on-a-rope. | Bill Cosby |
| Fear is not in the habit of speaking truth; when perfect sincerity is expected, perfect freedom must be allowed; nor has anyone who is apt to be angry when he hears the truth any cause to wonder that he does not hear it. | Tacitus |
| Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil. | Aristotle |
| Fear makes us feel our humanity. | Benjamin Disraeli |
| Fear not those who argue but those who dodge. | Dale Carnegie |
| Feel no sadness because of evil thoughts: it only strengthens them. | Nachman of Bratslav |
| Feminism is the radical notion that women are human beings. | Cheris Kramerae |
| Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream. | Rush Limbaugh |
| Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse. | Christopher Morley |
| Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder. | George Washington |
| Few people think more than two or three times a year. I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week. | George Bernard Shaw |
| Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. | Mark Twain |
| Few things can help an individual more than to place responsibility on him, and to let him know that you trust him. | Booker T. Washington |
| Few women, I fear, have had such reason as I have to think the long sad years of youth were worth living for the sake of middle age. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| Fiction is the truth inside the lie. | Stephen King |
| Film lovers are sick people. | Francois Truffaut |
| Find me a man who's interesting enough to have dinner with and I'll be happy. | Lauren Bacall |
| Find out how much God has given you and from it take what you need; the remainder is needed by others. | Saint Augustine |
| First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity. | George Bernard Shaw |
| First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. | Steve Martin |
| First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win. | Mahatma Gandhi |
| Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. | Muhammad Ali |
| Follow that will and that way which experience confirms to be your own. | Carl Jung |
| Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings. | George Will |
| Football is like life, it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority. | Vince Lombardi |
| For a creative writer possession of the 'truth'' is less important than emotional sincerity. | George Orwell |
| For a time, at least, I was the most famous person in the entire world. | Jesse Owens |
| For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. | Henry Mencken |
| For each illness that doctors cure with medicine, they provoke ten in healthy people by inoculating them with the virus that is a thousand times more powerful than any microbe: the idea that one is ill. | Marcel Proust |
| For having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged, by better information or fuller consideration, to change opinions, even on important subjects, which I once thought right but found to be otherwise. | Benjamin Franklin |
| For in the final analysis, our most basic common link, is that we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children's futures, and we are all mortal. | John F. Kennedy |
| For me, survival is the ability to cope with difficulties, with circumstances, and to overcome them. | Nelson Mandela |
| For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love. | Carl Sagan |
| For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances as though they were realities. and are often more influenced by things that seem than by those that are. | Nicolo Machiavelli |
| For the want of a nail, the shoe was lost; for the want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for the want of a horse the rider was lost, being overtaken and slain by the enemy, all for the want of care about a horseshoe nail. | Benjamin Franklin |
| For the wise men of old the cardinal problem had been how to conform the soul to reality. For magic and applied science alike the problem is how to subdue reality to the wishes of men. | C.S. Lewis |
| For there is one thing we must never forget...the majority can never replace the man. And no more than a hundred empty heads make one wise man will an heroic decision arise from a hundred cowards. | Adolf Hitler |
| For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation is possible. | Author Unknown |
| For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. | Johnny Carson |
| For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. | Bill Cosby |
| For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business. | T.S. Eliot |
| Forever is composed of nows. | Emily Dickinson |
| Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. | John F. Kennedy |
| Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. | Robert Frost |
| Forgiveness is not an occasional act: it is a permanent attitude. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it. | Mark Twain |
| Fortune has rarely condescended to be the companion of genius. | Isaac Disraeli |
| Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience. | Laurence Peter |
| Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age. | Victor Hugo |
| Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt. | Dorothy Parker |
| Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets. | Napoleon Bonaparte |
| Four-fifths of all our troubles would disappear, if we would only sit down and keep still. | Calvin Coolidge |
| Free men are the strongest men. | Wendell Willkie |
| Freedom and fear, justice and cruelty, have always been at war, and we know that God is not neutral between them. | George W. Bush |
| Freedom is hammered out on the anvil of discussion, dissent, and debate. | Hubert H. Humphrey |
| Freedom is not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that belongs to us by the laws of God and nature. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Freedom is not America's gift to the world, it is the Almighty God's gift to every man and woman in this world. | George W. Bush |
| Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set. | Adlai Stevenson |
| Freedom is not something that anybody can be given; freedom is something people take and people are as free as they want to be. | James Baldwin |
| Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better. | Albert Camus |
| Freedom is the right to question and change the established way of doing things. It is the continuous revolution of the marketplace. It is the understanding that allows us to recognize shortcomings and seek solutions. | Ronald Reagan |
| Freedom means the opportunity to be what we never thought we would be. | Daniel J. Boorstin |
| Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. | Bertrand Russell |
| Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one. | Henry Mencken |
| Friends have all things in common. | Plato |
| Friends, if we be honest with ourselves, we shall be honest with each other. | George MacDonald |
| Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. | Aristotle |
| Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one!' | C.S. Lewis |
| Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. | C.S. Lewis |
| Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never. | Charles Caleb Colton |
| Friendship with oneself is all-important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| Friendship, like the immortality of the soul, is too good to be believed. When friendships are real, they are not glass threads or frost work, but the solidest things we know. | Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. | George Carlin |
| From kindergarten to graduation, I went to public schools, and I know that they are a key to being sure that every child has a chance to succeed and to rise in the world. | Dick Cheney |
| From such beginnings of governments, what could be expected, but a continual system of war and extortion? | Thomas Paine |
| From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. | Groucho Marx |
| From this day forward, the millions of our schoolchildren will daily proclaim in every city and town, every village and rural schoolhouse, the dedication of our nation and our people to the Almighty. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| Funny how the new things are the old things. | Rudyard Kipling |
| Games lubricate the body and the mind. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Gandhi was inevitable. If humanity is to progress, Gandhi is inescapable. He lived, thought and acted, inspired by the vision of humanity evolving toward a world of peace and harmony. We may ignore Gandhi at our own risk. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| Gaze long into the abyss, and the abyss gazes into you. | Friedrich Nietzsche |
| Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as [Gandhi] ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth. | Albert Einstein |
| Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety-nine per cent perspiration. | Thomas Edison |
| Genius is only the power of making continuous efforts. | Elbert Hubbard |
| Genius is personality with two measures of talent. | Pablo Picasso |
| Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. | Elbert Hubbard |
| Genius thinks it can do whatever it sees others doing, but is sure to repent of every ill-judged outlay. | Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
| Genius without education is like silver in the mine. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood. | T.S. Eliot |
| George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie. | Mark Twain |
| Get happiness out of your work or you may never know what happiness is. | Elbert Hubbard |
| Get mad, then get over it. | Colin Powell |
| Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. | Mark Twain |
| Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do. | Zsa Zsa Gabor |
| Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoken to. | Richard Harris Barham |
| Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. | Mae West |
| Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. | Saint Augustine |
| Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties. | John Milton |
| Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good. | Henry Mencken |
| Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. | Napoleon Bonaparte |
| God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing. | C.S. Lewis |
| God does not play dice with the universe. | Albert Einstein |
| God enters by a private door into every individual. | Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| God gave us two ends. One to sit on and one to think with. Success depends on which one you use; head you win, tail, you lose. | Author Unknown |
| God grants liberty only to those who love it, and are always ready to guard and defend it. | Daniel Webster |
| God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her. | Benjamin Tillet |
| God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. | Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire) |
| God is a concept by which we measure our pain. | John Lennon |
| God is a verb. | Buckminster Fuller |
| God is clever, but not dishonest. | Albert Einstein |
| God is dead. | Friedrich Nietzsche |
| God is more truly imagined than expressed, and He exists more truly than He is imagined. | Saint Augustine |
| God is not proud...He will have us even though we have shown that we prefer everything else to Him. | C.S. Lewis |
| God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things. | Pablo Picasso |
| God loves each of us as if there were only one of us. | Saint Augustine |
| God never gave man a thing to do concerning which it were irreverent to ponder how the Son of God would have done it. | George MacDonald |
| God offers to every mind its choice between truth and repose. Take which you please - you can never have both. | Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world. | C.S. Lewis |
| God, as some cynic has said, is always on the side which has the best football coach. | Heywood Broun |
| Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense. | Chapman Cohen |
| God's colors all are fast. | John Greenleaf Whittier |
| Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car. | Laurence Peter |
| Goldie and I did have a car stolen right out of our yard. It took us three days to notice. | Kurt Russell |
| Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. | Winston Churchill |
| Golf is a good walk spoiled. | Mark Twain |
| Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. | Mark Twain |
| Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. | Daniel Webster |
| Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment. | Jim Horning |
| Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. | Clarence Thomas |
| Good sex is like good Bridge: if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. | Mae West |
| Government consists in nothing else but so controlling subjects that they shall neither be able to, nor have cause to do it harm. | Nicolo Machiavelli |
| Government does not tax to get the money it needs; government always finds a need for the money it gets. | Ronald Reagan |
| Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. | Ronald Reagan |
| Government is not a solution to our problem, government is the problem. | Ronald Reagan |
| Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. | George Washington |
| Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one. | Thomas Paine |
| Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. | Ronald Reagan |
| Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment. | Baltasar Gracian |
| Great ideas originate in the muscles. | Thomas Edison |
| Great is the guilt of an unnecessary war. | John Adams |
| Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand. | Colin Powell |
| Great liars are also great magicians. | Adolf Hitler |
| Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| Great spirits have always encountered violent oppostion from mediocre minds. | Albert Einstein |
| Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together. | George Eliot |
| Great truths can only be forgotten and can never be falsified. | GK Chesterton |
| Greater things are believed of those who are absent. | Tacitus |
| Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with. | Mark Twain |
| Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. | Patrick Henry |
| Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful. So you might as well live. | Dorothy Parker |
| Had I been chosen President again, I am certain I could not have lived another year. | John Adams |
| Half a truth is often a great lie. | Benjamin Franklin |
| Half of maturity consists of knowing when and how to be immature. | Chris Bowyer |
| Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. | Robert Frost |
| Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns -- he should be drawn and quoted. | Fred Allen |
| Happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected. | George Washington |
| Happiness consists in activity. It is running stream, not a stagnant pool. | Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| Happiness depends upon ourselves. | Aristotle |
| Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. | Ernest Hemingway |
| Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. | Nathaniel Hawthorne |
| Happiness is a Swedish sunset; it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it. | Mark Twain |
| Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind. | Marcel Proust |
| Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. | George Burns |
| Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life. | Burton Hills |
| Happiness is the full use of your powers along lines of excellence. | John F. Kennedy |
| Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. | Robert Frost |
| Happiness serves hardly any other purpose than to make unhappiness possible. | Marcel Proust |
| Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home! | Charles Dickens |
| Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind. | C.S. Lewis |
| Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. | Rita Rudner |
| Have we the courage and the will to face up to the immorality and discrimination of the progressive tax, and demand a return to traditional proportionate taxation? | Ronald Reagan |
| Have you ever heard people say 'don't sweat the details'? Well, they're wrong: sweat the details. They have a name for people who sweat the details: millionaires. | Jerry Bowyer |
| Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? | George Carlin |
| Have you ever observed that we pay much more attention to a wise passage when it is quoted than when we read it in the original author? | Philip Hamerton |
| Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent? | Dave Barry |
| Having a male gynecologist is like going to an auto mechanic who doesn't own a car. | Carrie Snow |
| Having someone wonder where you are when you don't come home at night is a very old human need. | Margaret Mead |
| He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. | Abraham Lincoln |
| He does not possess wealth; it possesses him. | Benjamin Franklin |
| He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. | Winston Churchill |
| He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear. | Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| He is a very modest man with a great deal to be modest about. | Winston Churchill |
| He is able who thinks he is able. | Siddhartha Buddha |
| He is richest who is content with the least. | Socrates |
| He listens well who takes notes. | Dante Alighieri |
| He loves but little who can say and count in words how much he loves. | Dante Alighieri |
| He not busy being born is busy dying. | Bob Dylan |
| He that cannot obey, cannot command. | Benjamin Franklin |
| He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. | Benjamin Franklin |
| He that fights and runs away, may turn and fight another day; but he that is in battle slain, will never rise to fight again. | Tacitus |
| He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money. | Benjamin Franklin |
| He that would live in peace and at ease must not speak all he knows or all he sees. | Benjamin Franklin |
| He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from opposition; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach himself. | Thomas Paine |
| He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper. | Edmund Burke |
| He was as great as a man can be without morality. | Alexis de Tocqueville |
| He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow. | George Eliot |
| He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words. | Elbert Hubbard |
| He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. | Roy L. Smith |
| He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have. | Socrates |
| He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life. | Muhammad Ali |
| He who is of calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition youth and age are equally a burden. | Plato |
| He who knows how to flatter also knows how to slander. | Napoleon Bonaparte |
| He who learns but does not think, is lost! He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger. | Confucius |
| He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses much more, He who loses faith, loses all. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes. | Siddhartha Buddha |
| He wrapped himself in quotations--as a beggar would enfold himself in the purple of Emperors. | Rudyard Kipling |
| Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. | Fulton J. Sheen |
| Heaven have mercy on us all--Presbyterians and Pagans alike--for we are all dreadfully cracked about the head and desperately in need of mending. | Herman Melville |
| Heaven offers nothing that a mercenary soul can desire. | C.S. Lewis |
| Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. | William Congreve |
| Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water. | Christopher Morley |
| Hell is an outrage on humanity. When you tell me that your deity made you in his image, I reply that he must have been very ugly. | Victor Hugo |
| Hell is paved with good intentions, not with bad ones. All men mean well. | George Bernard Shaw |
| Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something. | Thomas Edison |
| Heroism at command, senseless brutality, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be part of so base an action! | Albert Einstein |
| Heroism is not only in the man, but in the occasion. | Calvin Coolidge |
| Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade. | Benjamin Franklin |
| History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme. | Mark Twain |
| History is a gallery of pictures in which there are few originals and many copies. | Alexis de Tocqueville |
| History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again. | Kurt Vonnegut |
| History is more or less bunk. | Henry Ford |
| History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. | Napoleon Bonaparte |
| History teaches that wars begin when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap. | Ronald Reagan |
| History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it. | Winston Churchill |
| History, in general, only informs us what bad government is. | Thomas Jefferson |
| Hitting is 50% above the shoulders. | Ted Williams |
| Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. | Siddhartha Buddha |
| Home is where you come when you run out of places. | Author Unknown |
| Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. | George Carlin |
| Honeymoon: a short period of doting between dating and debating. | Ray Bandy |
| Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed. | Mel Brooks |
| Hope is a waking dream. | Aristotle |
| Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all. | Emily Dickinson |
| Hope is the word which God has written on the brow of every man. | Victor Hugo |
| Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman - it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal's out of town. | Steve Martin |
| How can one conceive of a one-party system in a country that has over 200 varieties of cheeses? | Charles de Gaulle |
| How can those who scorn God revere men? | Sun Tzu |
| How can you be expected to govern a country that has 246 kinds of cheese? | Charles de Gaulle |
| How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak. | Jack Handey |
| How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon? | Theodor Seuss Geisel |
| How did it happen that their lips came together? How does it happen that birds sing, that snow melts, that the rose unfolds, that the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill? A kiss, and all was said. | Victor Hugo |
| How do you tell a Communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin. | Ronald Reagan |
| How else can you fight God but to pretend He doesn't exist? | Chris Bowyer |
| How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd. | Alexander Pope |
| How I wish that somewhere there existed an island for those who are wise and of goodwill! In such a place even I would be an ardent patriot. | Albert Einstein |
| How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it. | Alexandre Dumas |
| How lucky for those in power that people don't think. | Adolf Hitler |
| How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, his precepts! O! 'tis easier to keep holidays than commandments. | Benjamin Franklin |
| How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? | Albert Einstein |
| How selfish soever man may be supposed, there are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortune of others, and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it, except the pleasure of seeing it. | Adam Smith |
| How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. | Annie Dillard |
| However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. | Winston Churchill |
| However energetically society in general may strive to make all the citizens equal and alike, the personal pride of each individual will always make him try to escape from the common level, and he will form some inequality somewhere to his own profit. | Alexis de Tocqueville |
| However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them? | Siddhartha Buddha |
| Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. | Bill Cosby |
| Human beings, all over the earth, have this curious idea that they ought to behave in a certain way, and can't really get rid of it. | C.S. Lewis |
| Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons. | Buckminster Fuller |
| Humility is no substitute for a good personality. | Fran Lebowitz |
| Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues hence, in the soul in which this virtue does not exist there cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance. | Saint Augustine |
| Humility must always be the portion of any man who receives acclaim earned in blood of his followers and sacrifices of his friends. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. | Mark Twain |
| Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. | Christopher Morley |
| Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place. | Mark Twain |
| Humor is the most engaging cowardice. | Robert Frost |
| Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit. | Aristotle |
| I almost had a pyschic girlfriend, but she left me before we met. | Steven Wright |
| I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left. | Margaret Thatcher |
| I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake -- which I also keep handy. | W.C. Fields |
| I always prefer to believe the best of everybody - it saves so much trouble. | Rudyard Kipling |
| I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world. | Mother Teresa |
| I am a soldier, I fight where I am told, and I win where I fight. | George Patton |
| I am a strong believer in luck and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. | Benjamin Franklin |
| I am a thing that thinks, that is to say, a thing that doubts, affrims, denies, understands a few things, is ignorant of many things, wills, refrains from willing, and also imagines and senses. | Rene Descartes |
| I am a writer of books in retrospect. I talk in order to understand; I teach in order to learn. | Robert Frost |
| I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it. | Pablo Picasso |
| I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. | Mark Twain |
| I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't. | Bill Cosby |
| I am easily satisfied with the very best. | Winston Churchill |
| I am Envy. I cannot read and therefore wish all books burned. | Christopher Marlowe |
| I am indeed rich, since my income is superior to my expense, and my expense is equal to my wishes. | Kahlil Gibran |
| I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art. | Madonna Ciccone |
| I am not a has-been. I am a will be. | Lauren Bacall |
| I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward. | Thomas Edison |
| I am not interested in power for power's sake, but I'm interested in power that is moral, that is right and that is good. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed; and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I can fail and keep on trying. | Tom Hopkins |
| I am not young enough to know everything. | Oscar Wilde |
| I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. | Mark Twain |
| I am prepared to die, but there is no cause for which I am prepared to kill. | Mahatma Gandhi |
| I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. | Winston Churchill |
| I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis. | Douglas Adams |
| I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries. | Stephen King |
| I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. | Dave Barry |
| I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. | C.S. Lewis |
| I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex. | Jack Handey |
| I believe in person to person. Every person is Christ for me, and since there is only one Jesus, that person is the one person in the world at that moment. | Mother Teresa |
| I believe one of the reasons so many do not get a higher education is the fear of their parents that they will lose more morally than they will receive mentally. | William Jennings Bryan |
| I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time. | Henry Mencken |
| I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. | Mark Twain |
| I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. | Woody Allen |
| I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. | Steve Martin |
| I believe that the next half century will determine if we will advance the cause of Christian civilization or revert to the horrors of brutal paganism. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| I believe the highest aspiration of man should be individual freedom and the development of the individual. | Ronald Reagan |
| I believe this government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free. | Abraham Lincoln |
| I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then when somebody comes up act like they just woke up and go, 'What was THAT?!' | Jack Handey |
| I bought some batteries but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again. | Steven Wright |
| I broke a mirror the other day. I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. | Steven Wright |
| I came, I saw, I conquered. | Julius Caesar |
| I can live for two months on a good compliment. | Mark Twain |
| I can live with death. | Evan Spigelman |
| I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. | Jack Handey |
| I can resist everything except temptation. | Oscar Wilde |
| I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating. | Mike Tyson |
| I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time. | Friedrich Nietzsche |
| I cannot conceive otherwise than that He, the Infinite Father, expects or requires no worship or praise from us, but that He is even infinitely above it. | Benjamin Franklin |
| I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on the objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents. | James Madison |
| I can't think of a better way to spread the message of world peace than by working with the NFL and being part of Super Bowl XXVII. | Michael Jackson |
| I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do. That is character! | Theodore Roosevelt |
| I confess, I do not believe in time. | Vladimir Nabokov |
| I conquered my hostility by putting it away until the day I might need it. | Nachman of Bratslav |
| I continue to find my greatest pleasure, and so my reward, in the work that precedes what the world calls success. | Thomas Edison |
| I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence. | J.R.R. Tolkien |
| I could not handle being a woman, I would stay home all day and play with my breasts. | Steve Martin |
| I could not say I believe ? I know! I have had the experience of being gripped by something that is stronger than myself, something that people call God. | Carl Jung |
| I couldn't tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because it had a bag on it's head. | Yogi Berra |
| I deplore the need or the use of troops anywhere to get American citizens to obey the orders of constituted courts. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| I despise people who go to the gutter on either the right or the left and hurl rocks at those in the center. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| I detest racialism, because I regard it as a barbaric thing, whether it comes from a black man or a white man. | Nelson Mandela |
| I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. | Mark Twain |
| I didn't come to Washington to be loved and I haven't been disappointed. | Philip L. Gramm |
| I didn't really say everything I said. | Yogi Berra |
| I discovered that rejections are not altogether a bad thing. They teach a writer to rely on his own judgment and to say in his heart of hearts, 'To hell with you.' | Saul Bellow |
| I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act. | Siddhartha Buddha |
| I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church. | Thomas Paine |
| I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. | C.S. Lewis |
| I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. | Clarence Darrow |
| I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. | Galileo Galilei |
| I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature. | Thomas Jefferson |
| I do not know anyone who has got to the top without hard work. That is the recipe. It will not always get you to the top, but should get you pretty near. | Margaret Thatcher |
| I do not like work even when someone else does it. | Mark Twain |
| I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness. | Mother Teresa |
| I do not want a friend who smiles when I smile, who weeps when I weep, for my shadow in the pool can do better than that. | Confucius |
| I do not want the peace that passeth understanding, I want the understanding that brings peace. | Helen Keller |
| I don't always know what I'm talking about but I know I'm right. | Muhammad Ali |
| I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. | Clarence Darrow |
| I don't believe in quotas. America was founded on a philosophy of individual rights, not group rights. | Clarence Thomas |
| I don't care what is written about me, so long as it isn't true. | Dorothy Parker |
| I don't embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it. | Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| I don't generally feel anything until noon, then it's time for my nap. | Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| I don't get acting jobs because of my looks. | Alec Baldwin |
| I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. | Mark Twain |
| I don't intellectually understand you people. I don't understand your hate, I don't understand your rage, I don't understand what it is about the goodness of this country you can't abide. | Rush Limbaugh |
| I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. | J.R.R. Tolkien |
| I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone. | Bill Cosby |
| I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again. | Socrates |
| I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both places. | Mark Twain |
| I don't like to share my personal life...it wouldn't be personal if I shared it. | George Clooney |
| I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. | Will Rogers |
| I dont mind living in a mans world as long as I can be a woman in it. | Marilyn Monroe |
| I don't think there's anything to be afraid of. Failure brings great rewards -- in the life of an artist. | Quentin Tarantino |
| I don't think there's anything unique about human intellience. All the nuerons in the brain that make up perceptions and emotions operate in a binary fashion. | Bill Gates |
| I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs. | Samuel Goldwyn |
| I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth--even if it costs him his job. | Samuel Goldwyn |
| I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. | Woody Allen |
| I don't work according to nature, but infront and together with it. An artist must observe the nature, but never confuse it with the art. | Pablo Picasso |
| I dote on his very absence. | William Shakespeare |
| I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor. | Roger Moore |
| I feel impelled to speak today in a language that in a sense is new-one which I, who have spent so much of my life in the military profession, would have preferred never to use. That new language is the language of atomic warfare. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know. | Rodney Dangerfield |
| I figure wherever I am, that's the place to be. | Tommy Lasorda |
| I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. | Mae West |
| I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada. | Britney Spears |
| I guess I don't so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old. | Benjamin Franklin |
| I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage. | Will Rogers |
| I had a dream the other night. I dreamed that Jimmy Carter came to me and asked why I wanted his job. I told him I didn't want his job. I want to be President. | Ronald Reagan |
| I hate it when my leg falls sleep in the middle of the day, because that means it'll be up all night. | Steven Wright |
| I hate quotations. Tell me what you know. | Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed to provide them with a melody never showed up. | Dave Barry |
| I hate the giving of the hand unless the whole man accompanies it. | Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. | Hunter S. Thompson |
| I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| I have a hobby...I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it... | Steven Wright |
| I have a microwave fireplace. I can lay down in front of the fire for the evening in eight minutes. | Steven Wright |
| I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. | Hunter S. Thompson |
| I have accepted fear as a part of life - specifically the fear of change. I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back. | Erica Jong |
| I have always thought of Christmas time as a good time. A kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time. The only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely. | Charles Dickens |
| I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man. | Benjamin Disraeli |
| I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts. | John Locke |
| I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it. | Steven Wright |
| I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's. | Woody Allen |
| I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom, and that of all about me, seemed insufficient for the day. | Abraham Lincoln |
| I have been the artist with the longest career, and I am so proud and honoured to be chosen from heaven to be invincible. | Michael Jackson |
| I have come to the conclusion that my subjective account of my motivation is largely mythical on almost all occasions. I don't know why I do things. | J.B.S. Haldane |
| I have discovered photography. Now I can kill myself. I have nothing else to learn. | Pablo Picasso |
| I have found it advisable not to give too much heed to what people say when I am trying to accomplish something of consequence. Invariably they proclaim it can't be done. | Calvin Coolidge |
| I have found some of the best reasons I ever had for remaining at the bottom simply by looking at the men at the top. | Frank Moore Colby |
| I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love. | Mother Teresa |
| I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world. | Thomas Edison |
| I have from an early age abjured the use of meat, and the time will come when men will look upon the murder of animals as they now look upon the murder of men. | Leonardo da Vinci |
| I have gained this from philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law. | Aristotle |
| I have gathered a posie of other men?s flowers, and nothing but the thread that binds them is mine own. | John Bartlett |
| I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there. | Fred Allen |
| I have learned silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant and kindness from the unkind. | Kahlil Gibran |
| I have learned, that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. | Henry Thoreau |
| I have never been hurt by what I have not said. | Calvin Coolidge |
| I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me. | Dudley Malone |
| I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. | Mark Twain |
| I have never started a poem yet whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering. | Robert Frost |
| I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. | Mark Twain |
| I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. | Thomas Edison |
| I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. | Winston Churchill |
| I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. | Xenocrates |
| I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others. | Marcus Aurelius |
| I have one yardstick by which I test every major problem-and that yardstick is: Is it good for America? | Dwight Eisenhower |
| I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. | Thomas Jefferson |
| I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. | Winston Churchill |
| I haven't been with a woman in nine months. | Mike Tyson |
| I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. | Confucius |
| I heard guys say they got into rock and roll to pick up women. I didn't get into rock to pick up women, but I sure adapted. | Ted Nugent |
| I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeat. Of peace on earth, good-will to men! | Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
| I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. | George Burns |
| I hope I shall possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man. | George Washington |
| I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching. | Jack Handey |
| I hope that when you are my age, you will be able to say as I have been able to say: We lived in freedom. We lived lives that were a statement, not an apology. | Ronald Reagan |
| I installed a skylight in my apartment yesterday. The people who live above me are furious. | Steven Wright |
| I just want to do God's will. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| I keep my good health by having a very bad temper, kept under good control. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew); Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who. | Rudyard Kipling |
| I keep the subject of my inquiry constantly before me, and wait till the first dawning opens gradually, by little and little, into a full and clear light. | Isaac Newton |
| I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. | Mother Teresa |
| I know not what course others make take, but as for me: give me Liberty, or give me death. | Patrick Henry |
| I know nothing about sex because I was always married. | Zsa Zsa Gabor |
| I know of no more disagreeable situation than to be left feeling generally angry without anybody in particular to be angry at. | Frank Moore Colby |
| I know of only one duty, and that is to love. | George Bernard Shaw |
| I know that the Lord is always on the side of the right. But it is my constant anxiety and prayer that I and this nation should be on the Lords side. | Abraham Lincoln |
| I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. | Fred Allen |
| I like television. I still believe that television is the most powerful form of communication on Earth -- I just hate what is being done with it. | Alton Brown |
| I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. | Thomas Jefferson |
| I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of their way and let them have it. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| I like to say that I'm bisexual...when I want sex, I buy it. | Boy George |
| I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. | Mahatma Gandhi |
| I love acting. It is so much more real than life. | Oscar Wilde |
| I love argument, I love debate. I don't expect anyone just to sit there and agree with me, that's not their job. | Margaret Thatcher |
| I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. | Douglas Adams |
| I love fools? experiments. I am always making them. | Charles Darwin |
| I love mankind; it's people I can't stand. | Charles Schulz |
| I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know? | Ernest Hemingway |
| I love Thanksgiving. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. | Arnold Schwarzenegger |
| I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. | Thomas Paine |
| I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. | James Michener |
| I made a wrong mistake. | Yogi Berra |
| I made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it short. | Blaise Pascal |
| I maintain that, if everyone knew what others said about him, there would not be four friends in the world. | Blaise Pascal |
| I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up. | Barbara Bush |
| I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. | Winston Churchill |
| I met in the street a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, his cloak was out at the elbows, the water passed through his shoes -- and the stars through his soul. | Victor Hugo |
| I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things. | Dorothy Parker |
| I mistrust the judgment of every man in a case in which his own wishes are concerned. | Daniel Webster |
| I must admit that I personally measure success in terms of the contributions an individual makes to her or his fellow human beings. | Margaret Mead |
| I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. | Mark Twain |
| I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell. | Harry Truman |
| I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. | Groucho Marx |
| I never hated a man enough to give him diamonds back. | Zsa Zsa Gabor |
| I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love. | Henry Ward Beecher |
| I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late. | Max Kaufman |
| I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done. | Siddhartha Buddha |
| I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota. | Fran Lebowitz |
| I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent. | Mahatma Gandhi |
| I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.' | Oscar Levant |
| I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately. | Mark Twain |
| I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. | Henny Youngman |
| I paid too much for it, but it's worth it. | Samuel Goldwyn |
| I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. | Steven Wright |
| I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. | Thomas Jefferson |
| I prefer rogues to imbeciles, because they sometimes take a rest. | Alexandre Dumas |
| I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob. | William F. Buckley |
| I realise that I'm making gender-based generalizations here, but my feeling is that if God did not want us to make gender-based generalizations, She would not have given us genders. | Dave Barry |
| I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990. | Dave Barry |
| I sacrifice to no god save myself ? And to my belly, greatest of deities. | Euripides |
| I saw few die of hunger; of eating, a hundred thousand. | Benjamin Franklin |
| I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.' | Homer Simpson |
| I say that a man must be certain of his morality for the simple reason that he has to suffer for it. | GK Chesterton |
| I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. | Ian Fleming |
| I shall tell you a great secret my friend. Do not wait for the last judgement, it takes place every day. | Albert Camus |
| I should have loved freedom, I believe, at all times, but in the time in which we live I am ready to worship it. | Alexis de Tocqueville |
| I shut my eyes in order to see. | Paul Gauguin |
| I sit here all day trying to persuade people to do the things they ought to have the sense to do without my persuading them. That's all the powers of the President amount to. | Harry Truman |
| I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability. | Oscar Wilde |
| I still have my feet on the ground, I just wear better shoes. | Oprah Winfrey |
| I stopped getting the girl about ten years ago. Which is just as well because I'd forgotten what I wanted her for. | John Wayne |
| I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. | Henny Youngman |
| I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver. And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him and hand it to him. | Jack Handey |
| I think a poet is anybody who wouldn't call himself a poet. | Bob Dylan |
| I think and think for months and years, ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right. | Albert Einstein |
| I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. | Stephen Hawking |
| I think having land and not ruining it is the most beautiful art that anybody could ever want to own. | Andy Warhol |
| I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. | George Carlin |
| I think luck is the sense to recognize an opportunity and the ability to take advantage of it... The man who can smile at his breaks and grab his chances gets on. | Samuel Goldwyn |
| I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. | Rita Rudner |
| I think 'no comment' is a splendid expression. I am using it again and again. | Winston Churchill |
| I think that a hat which has a little cannon that fires and then goes back inside the hat is at least a decade away. | Jack Handey |
| I think that everyone should get married at least once, so you can see what a silly, outdated institution it is. | Madonna Ciccone |
| I think the American public wants a solemn ass as a President, and I think I'll go along with them. | Calvin Coolidge |
| I think the best possible social program is a job. | Ronald Reagan |
| I think the crucial thing in the writing career is to find what you want to do and how you fit in. What somebody else does is of no concern whatever except as an interesting variation. | James Michener |
| I think the idea of art kills creativity. | Douglas Adams |
| I think vital religion has always suffered when orthodoxy is more regarded than virtue. The scriptures assure me that at the last day we shall not be examined on what we thought but what we did. | Benjamin Franklin |
| I think we delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment; it is its appointed consummation. | C.S. Lewis |
| I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that. | Lauren Bacall |
| I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| I think; therefore I am. | Rene Descartes |
| I thought it completely absurd to mention my name in the same breath as the Presidency. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. | Rodney Dangerfield |
| I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. | Henny Youngman |
| I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, that His justice cannot sleep forever. | Thomas Jefferson |
| I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't part anywhere near the place. | Steven Wright |
| I viewed my fellow man not as a fallen angel, but as a risen ape. | Desmond Morris |
| I wake each morning torn between the desire to improve the world and the desire to enjoy it. It makes it hard to plan the day. | E.B. White |
| I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up. | Benjamin Franklin |
| I walk on untrodden ground. There is scarcely any part of my conduct which may not hereafter be drawn into precedent. | George Washington |
| I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| I want to know God's thoughts...the rest are details. | Albert Einstein |
| I want to thank everyone who made this night necessary. | Yogi Berra |
| 'I want to thank Gus Van Sant for selling out so that I could use his editor Curtis Clayton, who did a great job. | Vincent Gallo |
| I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself. | Aldous Huxley |
| I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. | Henny Youngman |
| I was angry with my friend I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. | William Blake |
| I was brought up in the great tradition of the late nineteenth century: that a writer never complains, never explains and never disdains. | James Michener |
| I was in love with loving. | Saint Augustine |
| I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. | Woody Allen |
| I welcome this kind of examination because people have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well I'm not a crook. | Richard Nixon |
| I went into a restaurant and the sign said 'Breakfast anytime,'' so I ordered french toast during the Renaissance. | Steven Wright |
| I went out to the country so i could examine the simple things in life. | Henry Thoreau |
| I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. | Charles Dickens |
| I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him. | Booker T. Washington |
| I wish I could give you a lot of advice, based on my experience of winning political debates. But I don't have that experience. My only experience is at losing them. | Richard Nixon |
| I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away. | Jack Handey |
| I wish I had an answer to that, because I'm tired of answering that question. | Yogi Berra |
| I wish TV had a knob so you could turn up the intelligence. The one marked Brightness doesn't work. | Leo Gallagher |
| I worship God as Truth only. I have not yet found Him, but I am seeking after Him. I am prepared to sacrifice the things dearest to me in pursuit of this quest. Even if the sacrifice demanded my very life, I hope I may be prepared to give it. | Mahatma Gandhi |
| I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection with income tax policies. | William F. Buckley |
| I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would affront your intelligence. | William F. Buckley |
| I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member. | Groucho Marx |
| I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories. | Dave Barry |
| I would rather be a failure doing something I love than be a sucess doing something I hate. | George Burns |
| I would rather be exposed to the inconveniencies attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it. | Thomas Jefferson |
| I would rather be governor of California than own Austria. | Arnold Schwarzenegger |
| I would rather have peace in the world than be President. | Harry Truman |
| I would rather try to persuade a man to go along, because once I have persuaded him he will stick. If I scare him, he will stay just as long as he is scared, and then he is gone. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| I wrote a novel this year called | Shop Girl |
| I'd just as soon play tennis with the net down. | Robert Frost |
| I'd rather hear an old truth than a new lie. | Chris Bowyer |
| Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive. | William F. Buckley |
| Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. | Mark Twain |
| Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't let our people have guns. Why should we let them have ideas? | Joseph Stalin |
| If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? | Laurence Peter |
| If A is a success in life, than A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. | Albert Einstein |
| If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time. | Marcel Proust |
| If a man can beat you, walk him. | Satchel Paige |
| If a man does his best, what else is there? | George Patton |
| If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it from him. | Benjamin Franklin |
| If a man happens to find himself, he has a mansion which he can inhabit with dignity all the days of his life. | James Michener |
| If a man has talent and can't use it, he's failed. If he uses only half of it, he has partly failed. If he uses the whole of it, he has succeeded, and won a satisfaction and triumph few men ever know. | Thomas Wolfe |
| If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| If a man is proud of his wealth, he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it. | Socrates |
| If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. | Erna Bombeck |
| If a nation could not prosper without the enjoyment of perfect liberty and perfect justice, there is not in the world a nation which could ever have prospered. | Adam Smith |
| If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be. | Thomas Jefferson |
| If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? | Steven Wright |
| If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. | Dave Barry |
| If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check. | Dan Quayle |
| If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be content to take their own and depart. | Socrates |
| If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. | Doug Larson |
| If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion. | George Bernard Shaw |
| If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised. | Dorothy Parker |
| If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts; and if any would write in a noble style, let him first possess a noble soul. | Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
| If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. | W.C. Fields |
| If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide. | Abraham Lincoln |
| If eighty percent of your sales come from twenty percent of all of your items, just carry those twenty percent. | Henry Kissinger |
| If ever time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin. | Samuel Adams |
| If everybody's thinking alike, somebody isn't thinking. | Author Unknown |
| If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking. | George Patton |
| If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. | Mario Andretti |
| If freedom is short of weapons, we must compensate with willpower. | Adolf Hitler |
| If God didn't want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat? | Homer Simpson |
| If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry. | Dave Barry |
| If God had wanted us to spend our time fretting about the problems of home ownership, He would never have invented beer. | Dave Barry |
| If God has created us in His image, we have more than returned the compliment. | Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire) |
| If God is satisfied with the work, the work may be satisfied with itself. | C.S. Lewis |
| If he's so smart, how come he's dead? | Homer Simpson |
| If I am anything, which I highly doubt, I have made myself so by hard work. | Isaac Newton |
| If I am what I have and if I lose what I have who then am I? | Erich Fromm |
| If I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out. I'm not proud. | Stephen King |
| If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive. | Samuel Goldwyn |
| If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now. | Jack Handey |
| If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry. | Emily Dickinson |
| If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. | C.S. Lewis |
| If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention, than to any other talent. | Isaac Newton |
| If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. | Isaac Newton |
| If I lose mine honour, I lose myself. | William Shakespeare |
| If I must choose between righteousness and peace, I choose righteousness. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| If I ran a school, I'd give the average grade to the ones who gave me all the right answers, for being good parrots. I'd give the top grades to those who made a lot of mistakes and told me about them, and then told me what they learned from them. | Buckminster Fuller |
| If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold no fire can ever warm me, I know that is poetry. | Emily Dickinson |
| If I should die tomorrow, I will have no regrets. I did what I wanted to do. You can't expect more from life. | Bruce Lee |
| If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? | Abraham Lincoln |
| If investments are keeping you awake at night, sell down to the sleeping point. | Author Unknown |
| If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands. | Douglas Adams |
| If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. | Johnny Carson |
| If I've made it a little easier for artists to work in violence, great! I've accomplished something. | Quentin Tarantino |
| If Jack's in love, he's no judge of Jill's beauty. | Benjamin Franklin |
| If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost. | Aristotle |
| If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. | George Orwell |
| If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. | Johnny Carson |
| If men can develop weapons that are so terrifying as to make the thought of global war include almost a sentence for suicide, you would think that man's intelligence and his comprehension... would include also his ability to find a peaceful solution. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| If men will not act for themselves, what will they do when the benefit of their effort is for all? | Elbert Hubbard |
| If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. | J.R.R. Tolkien |
| If music be the food of love, play on. | William Shakespeare |
| If my children wake up on Christmas morning and have someone to thank for putting candy in their stocking, have I no one to thank for putting two feet in mine? | GK Chesterton |
| If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim. | Margaret Thatcher |
| If one could conclude as to the nature of the Creator from a study of his creation it would appear that God has a special fondness for stars and beetles. | J.B.S. Haldane |
| If one does not understand a person, one tends to regard him as a fool. | Carl Jung |
| If one is only to talk from first-hand experience, conversation would be a very poor business. | C.S. Lewis |
| If one knows exactly what is going to be done, why do it? | Pablo Picasso |
| If only for the sake of elegance, I try to remain morally pure. | Marcel Proust |
| If people don?t come to the games, you can?t stop them. | Yogi Berra |
| If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom. | Robert Frost |
| If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? | Will Rogers |
| If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't. | Lyall Watson |
| If the businessman would stop talking like a computer printout or a page from the corporate annual report, other people would stop thinking he had a cash register for a heart. | Henry Kissinger |
| If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thru' narrow chinks of his cavern. | William Blake |
| If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts. | Albert Einstein |
| If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right. | Bill Cosby |
| If the other person injures you, you may forget the injury; but if you injure him, you will always remember. | Kahlil Gibran |
| If the primary aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever. | Thomas Aquinas |
| If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| If the universe is so bad...how on earth did human beings ever come to attribute it to the activity of a wise and good Creator? | C.S. Lewis |
| If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning. | C.S. Lewis |
| If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions. | Scott Adams |
| If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion. | Edmond and Jules de Goncourt |
| If there is a soul, it is a mistake to believe that it is given tous fully created. It is created here, throughout a whole life. And living is nothing else but that long and painful bringing forth. | Albert Camus |
| If there is any principle of the Constitution that more imperatively calls for attachment than any other it is the principle of free thought, not free thought for those who agree with us but freedom for the thought that we hate. | Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| If there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves. | Carl Jung |
| If there is one sound the follows the march of humanity, it is the scream. | David Gemmell |
| If there were no God, there would be no Atheists. | GK Chesterton |
| If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives. | Marlon Brando |
| If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon shots. | Napoleon Bonaparte |
| If thou rememb'rest not the slightest folly into which love hast made thee run, though hast not loved. | William Shakespeare |
| If tyranny and oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy. | James Madison |
| If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. | Johnny Carson |
| If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. | Thomas Edison |
| If we are to abolish the death penalty, I should like to see the first step taken by my friends the murderers. | Alphonse Karr |
| If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free; if our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed. | Edmund Burke |
| If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. | Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
| If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change. | Siddhartha Buddha |
| If we cut up beasts simply because they cannot prevent us and because we are backing our own side in the struggle for existence, it is only logical to cut up imbeciles, criminals, enemies, or capitalists for the same reasons. | C.S. Lewis |
| If we desire to avoid insult, we must be able to repel it; if we desire to secure peace, one of the most powerful instruments of our rising prosperity, it must be known, that we are at all times ready for War. | George Washington |
| If we did not bring to the examinations of our instincts a knowledge of their comparative dignity we could never learn it from them. | C.S. Lewis |
| If we discovered that we only had five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they loved them. | Christopher Morley |
| If we do not help a man in trouble, it is as if we caused the trouble. | Nachman of Bratslav |
| If we don?t end war, war will end us. | H.G. Wells |
| If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a Nation gone under. | Ronald Reagan |
| If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. | Mother Teresa |
| If we have Senators and Congressmen there that can't protect themselves against the evil temptations of lobbyists, we don't need to change our lobbies, we need to change our representatives. | Will Rogers |
| If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it? | Albert Einstein |
| If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment. | Henry Thoreau |
| If we will not learn to eat the only food that the universe grows...then we must starve eternally. | C.S. Lewis |
| If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? | Vince Lombardi |
| If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things. | Plato |
| If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. | Aristotle Onassis |
| If you are going through hell, keep going. | Winston Churchill |
| If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude. | Colin Powell |
| If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired. | George Patton |
| If you are gonna kick society in the teeth, you might as well use both feet. | Keith Richards |
| If you are obliged to neglect any thing, let it be your chemistry. It is the least useful and the least amusing to a country gentleman of all the ordinary branches of science. | Thomas Jefferson |
| If you are really a product of a materialistic universe, how is it that you don't feel at home there? | C.S. Lewis |
| If you are resolutely determined to make a lawyer of yourself, the thing is more than half done already. | Abraham Lincoln |
| If you can speak three languages you're trilingual. If you can speak two languages you're bilingual. If you can speak only one language you're an American. | Author Unknown |
| If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton. You may as well make it dance. | George Bernard Shaw |
| If you cannot inspire a woman with love of you, fill her above the brim with love of herself; all that runs over will be yours. | Charles Caleb Colton |
| If you cannot lift the load off another's back, do not walk away. Try to lighten it. | Frank Tyger |
| If you can't accept losing, you can't win. | Vince Lombardi |
| If you can't convince them, confuse them. | Harry Truman |
| If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull. | W.C. Fields |
| If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one. | Mother Teresa |
| If you can't get them to salute when they should salute and wear the clothes you tell them to wear, how are you going to get them to die for their country? | George Patton |
| If you can't imitate him, don't copy him. | Yogi Berra |
| If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep. | Dale Carnegie |
| If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby ''it.'' | T.S. Eliot |
| If you don't know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues' initials on 'em, and pass them along. When in doubt, route. | Malcolm Forbes |
| If you don't risk anything, you risk even more. | Erica Jong |
| If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it. | Calvin Coolidge |
| If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you. | Jack Handey |
| If you get an impulse in a scene, no matter how wrong it seems, follow the impulse. It might be something and if it ain't - take two! | Jack Nicholson |
| If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact. | Jack Handey |
| If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce. | Winston Churchill |
| If you have a job without aggravation, you don't have a job. | Malcolm Forbes |
| If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas. | George Bernard Shaw |
| If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. | Mark Twain |
| If you judge people, you have no time to love them. | Mother Teresa |
| If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing. | Margaret Thatcher |
| If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred. | George Burns |
| If you look back on the '60s and think there was more good than harm, you're probably a Democrat. If you think there was more harm than good, you're probably a Republican. | Bill Clinton |
| If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair. | C.S. Lewis |
| If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were. | Kahlil Gibran |
| If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? | William Shakespeare |
| If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you. | Calvin Coolidge |
| If you start to think about your physical or moral condition, you usually find that you are sick. | Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
| If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies. | Dave Barry |
| If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. | Mark Twain |
| If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness. | Jack Handey |
| If you think there are no new frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date. | Olin Miller |
| If you wanna be free, you've gotta accept everything. | Jason Mechalek |
| If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stomping on a human face -- forever. | George Orwell |
| If you want to be respected by others the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you. | Fyodor Dostoevsky |
| If you want to conquer fear, don't sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy. | Andrew Carnegie |
| If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. | Dorothy Parker |
| If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else. | Booker T. Washington |
| If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. | Katherine Hepburn |
| If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths, rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success. | John Rockefeller |
| If you want total security, go to prison. There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking... is freedom. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should -- you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland. | Dave Barry |
| If you wish to be loved, show more of your faults than your virtues. | Edward Bulwer-Lytton |
| If you would be known, and not know, vegetate in a village; If you would know, and not be known, live in a city. | Charles Caleb Colton |
| If you would be loved, love and be lovable. | Benjamin Franklin |
| If you would persuade, you must appeal to interest rather than intellect. | Benjamin Franklin |
| If you?ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. | John Wayne |
| If you're afraid to ask the question, it's probably because you already know the answer. | Miriam M. Wynn |
| If you're given a choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal. | Katherine Hepburn |
| If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. | Henny Youngman |
| If you're in a boxing match, try not to let the other guy's glove touch your lips, because you don't know where that glove has been. | Jack Handey |
| If you're successful, acting is about as soft a job as anybody could ever wish for. But if you're unsuccessful it's worse than having a skin disease. | Marlon Brando |
| Ignorance is preferable to error; and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong. | Thomas Jefferson |
| Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge. | Charles Darwin |
| Ignorance, the root and the stem of every evil. | Plato |
| Ignore death up to the last moment; then, when it can't be ignored any longer, have yourself squirted full of morphia and shuffle off in a coma. Thoroughly sensible, humane and scientific, eh? | Aldous Huxley |
| I'll always perform, because show business is in my blood. Or maybe it's in my feet. Wherever it is, I don't think I'll ever stop. | Robin Williams |
| I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it. | Terry Pratchett |
| Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey. | Marcel Proust |
| I'm a great housekeeper: I get divorced, I keep the house. | Zsa Zsa Gabor |
| I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed. | Bruce Lee |
| I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning. | Andy Warhol |
| I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. | Frank Lloyd Wright |
| I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. | Woody Allen |
| I'm at an age where I think more about food than sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table. | Rodney Dangerfield |
| I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. | George Carlin |
| I'm just like anyone. I cut and I bleed. And I embarass easily. | Michael Jackson |
| I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon! What was his name? Apollo Creed? | Homer Simpson |
| I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more. | Dorothy Parker |
| I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! | Will Rogers |
| I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens. | Woody Allen |
| I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect. | George Carlin |
| I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman! | Homer Simpson |
| I'm not popular enough to be different. | Homer Simpson |
| I'm not sure how much movies should entertain. I've always been more interested in movies that scar. | David Fincher |
| I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. | Roseanne Barr |
| I'm number 10 at the box office. Right under Barbra Streisand. Can you imagine being under Barbra Streisand? Get me a bag. I may throw up. | Walter Matthau |
| I'm so fast that, last night, I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark. | Muhammad Ali |
| I'm the type who'd be happy not going anywhere as long as I was sure I knew exactly what was happening at the places I wasn't going to. I'm the type who'd like to sit home and watch every party that I'm invited to on a monitor in my bedroom. | Andy Warhol |
| I'm totally at home on the stage. That's where I live. That's where I was born. That's where I'm safe. | Michael Jackson |
| I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. | Woody Allen |
| Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is. | Oscar Wilde |
| Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it, we go nowhere. | Carl Sagan |
| Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable. | Henry Mencken |
| Imagine what you desire. Will what you imagine. Create what you will. | George Bernard Shaw |
| Imitation is the sincerest of flattery. | Charles Caleb Colton |
| Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says: 'I need you because I love you.' | Erich Fromm |
| Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal. | T.S. Eliot |
| Impartiality is a pompous name for indifference, which is an elegant name for ignorance. | GK Chesterton |
| Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools. | Napoleon Bonaparte |
| In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves. | Siddhartha Buddha |
| In a separation it is the one who is not really in love who says the more tender things. | Marcel Proust |
| In a state where corruption abounds, laws must be very numerous. | Tacitus |
| In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order. | Carl Jung |
| In America the majority raises formidable barriers around the liberty of opinion; within these barriers an author may write what he pleases, but woe to him if he goes beyond them. | Alexis de Tocqueville |
| In America, anyone can become president. That's one of the risks you take. | Adlai Stevenson |
| In an atmosphere of liberty, artists and patrons are free to think the unthinkable and create the audacious; they are free to make both horrendous mistakes and glorious celebrations. | Ronald Reagan |
| In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| In baseball, you don't know nothin'. | Yogi Berra |
| In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point. | Friedrich Nietzsche |
| In crises the most daring course is often safest. | Henry Kissinger |
| In doubt a man of worth will trust to his own wisdom. | J.R.R. Tolkien |
| In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty. | Christopher Morley |
| In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West -- the Grand Canyon, the Badlands, the Goodlands, the Mediocrelands, the Rocky Mountains and Robert Redford -- were caused by erosion. | Dave Barry |
| In framing a government which is to be administered by men over men the great difficulty lies in this: You must first enable the government to control the governed, and in the next place, oblige it to control itself. | Alexander Hamilton |
| In giving, a man receives more than he gives, and the more is in proportion to the worth of the thing given. | George MacDonald |
| In Heaven all the interesting people are missing. | Friedrich Nietzsche |
| In his younger days a man dreams of possessing the heart of the woman whom he loves; later, the feeling that he possesses the heart of a woman may be enough to make him fall in love with her. | Marcel Proust |
| In life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves. | Edward Bulwer-Lytton |
| In my heart, I think a woman has two choices: Either she's a feminist or a masochist. | Gloria Steinem |
| In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better show more affection than she feels. | Aristotle |
| In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. | Bill Cosby |
| In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office. | Ambrose Bierce |
| In politics stupidity is not a handicap. | Napoleon Bonaparte |
| In politics, an organized minority is a political majority. | Jesse Jackson |
| In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. | Margaret Thatcher |
| In politics, strangely enough, the best way to play your cards is to lay them face upwards on the table. | H.G. Wells |
| In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. | Fran Lebowitz |
| In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. | Paul Dirac |
| In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. | GK Chesterton |
| In the arts of life man invents nothing; but in the arts of death he outdoes Nature herself, and produces by chemistry and machinery all the slaughter of plague, pestilence, and famine. | George Bernard Shaw |
| In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea. | Douglas Adams |
| In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. | Dwight Eisenhower |
| In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. | Albert Camus |
| In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| In the faces of men and women I see God. | Walt Whitman |
| In the future everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes. | Andy Warhol |
| In the life of a man, his time is but a moment...his sense, a dim rushlight. All that is body is as coursing waters...all that is of the soul, as dreams, and vapors. | Marcus Aurelius |
| In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die, and the choices that we make are ultimately our responsibility. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| In the long run, you only hit what you aim at. | Henry Thoreau |
| In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity. | Albert Einstein |
| In the Orthodox spiritual tradition, the ultimate moral question we ask is the following: Is what we are doing, is what I am doing, beautiful or not? | Carolyn Gifford |
| In the small matters trust the mind, in the large ones the heart. | Sigmund Freud |
| In the United States the majority undertakes to supply a multitude of ready-made opinions for the use of individuals, who are thus relieved from the necessity of forming opinions of their own. | Alexis de Tocqueville |
| In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell. | Henry Mencken |
| In the vain laughter of folly, wisdom hears half its applause. | T.S. Eliot |
| In the very books in which philosophers bid us scorn fame, they inscribe their names. | Marcus Tullius Cicero |
| In this country we have no place for hyphenated Americans. | Theodore Roosevelt |
| In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes. | Benjamin Franklin |
| In this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it. | George Bernard Shaw |
| In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. | Robert Frost |
| In time we hate that which we often fear. | William Shakespeare |
| In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these. | Paul Harvey |
| In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged. | Hans Nouwens |
| In wartime, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies. | Winston Churchill |
| In wisdom gathered over time I have found that every experience is a form of exploration. | Ansel Adams |
| Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible. | Saint Augustine |
| India has 2,000,000 gods, and worships them all. In religion, other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire. | Mark Twain |
| Individual commitment to a group effort -- that is what makes a team work a company work, a society work, a civilization work. | Vince Lombardi |
| Information is not knowledge. | Albert Einstein |
| Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| Injustice must be exposed, with all the tension its exposure creates, to the light of human conscience and the air of national opinion before it can be cured. | Martin Luther King Jr. |
| Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. | Muhammad Ali |
| Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working. | Pablo Picasso |
| Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window. | Jack Handey |
| Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS? It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around. | Jack Handey |
| Intellectual property has the shelf life of a banana. | Bill Gates |
| Intense love does not measure, it just gives. | Mother Teresa |
| Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us. | Abraham Lincoln |
| Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. | Leonardo da Vinci |
| Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! | Patrick Henry |
| Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders? | Friedrich Nietzsche |
| Is one religion as good as another? Is one horse in the Derby as good as another? | GK Chesterton |
| Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk. | Jack Handey |
| It ain't braggin' if you can back it up. | Dizzy Dean |
| It ain't over till it's over. | Yogi Berra |
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